Eve Simmons | Contributing Writer | Friday, 5 February 2016

New Zealand Politician Has Sex Toy Thrown In Face. Now Known As Dildo Baggins.

New Zealand Politician Has Sex Toy Thrown In Face. Now Known As Dildo Baggins.

The Debrief: Literal Dick-In-Face.

 It’s no secret that politics in 2016 can be kind of dry. With a generation of ‘disaffected youth’ turning to the likes of Russell Brand for their political education, it’s no wonder electorates around the world are inventing novel ways of spicing things up in the Public Affairs department.  

Today, the guiding light comes all the way from the other side of the world - New Zealand, in fact. New Zealand Ministers gathered at a media conference in Waitangi yesterday, on account of the recent signing of the controversial Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement. The economic deal, which has been criticised for the potential effects on democracy, jobs and food safety, grants free trade between 12 countries including the US, Australia and Mexico.  

Josie Butler, a protester who was awaiting patiently for New Zealand’s Economic Minister, Steven Joyce to emerge from the conference so that she could express her passionate feelings about the proposed economic policy.  As Minister Joyce explained the progress of the meeting to the press, he was cut short mid-sentence by an unexpected object. By ‘unexpected’, we mean a humungous, bright pink, plastic dildo.  

Whilst shouting 'THAT’S FOR RAPING OUR SOVEREIGNTY’, Josie Butler launched the rubber dick right at Mr Joyce’s face. The creative genius was later lead away by the police as she pleaded that her penis-throwing actions were for the good of her people:

 ‘I DID IT FOR OUR COUNTRY’, she said.

What a hero.

Never one to dissapoint, the incredibly imaginative folk of the internet have come up with a pretty genius nickname for Steven Joyce. 

Dildo Baggins, obviously.

 

 

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