Stevie Martin | Staff Writer | Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Poundland Have Introduced Online Shopping. Yep.

Poundland Have Introduced Online Shopping. Yep.

The Debrief: Your drunk online shopping binges are about to get way more... frugal

Poundland has decided to launch an online shopping service which just took late night drunk shopping to a whole new level. There’s one thing buying some terrible shoes off ASOS, and another thing spending £50 on 50 pairs of gardening gloves when you don’t have a garden. Or hands. 

We scoured the website to identify the various danger areas/recommend how best you should binge. Because, let’s be honest, the only thing stopping you dropping £50 in the actual shop is the inability to carry it all back. Now you can get it online, you might as well go mad. 

Case Deals 

Why buy a can of Lilt, when you can buy 24 cans of Lilt? If you buy drinks online at Poundland, you can maximise the value and just buy a case. Because who doesn’t want a case of Lilt? Other case deals include canned soup, Twix, baked beans, non-bio and Andrex. Seriously, if you drunk-buy a case of 24 packets of loo roll then your future self will be so impressed. 24 Twix bars, not so much. 

Shopping Made Easy 

This is a danger-tab because it neatly categorises products into fun sounding titles like ‘Big Night Out’ and ‘Back To Uni’ which means you’re liable to wake up with a plethora of objects that sort of make sense together, but make little to no sense in your life. Case in point: it’s hard not to be tempted by the gross ‘Hen-Party Accessories’ section, with its whistles and make-your-own sash, and I’m currently sober and sat in an office. 

The Back To Uni section is worrying, especially because of the amount of pens you can buy. And everyone needs pens. So be really careful, mainly around the gel pens, considering they’ve also got that added tinge of nostalgia and are a quid for nine. If you bought 10 of those (which you could easily do) that’s 90 gel pens. Special mention also goes to office essentials – you’d be surprised how necessary date stamps and paper clips become when it’s 3am and you’re on a roll. 

Dog food 

WHY NOT, EH? 

Accessories and Beauty 

OK, so Poundland haven’t got a whole clothing range yet (I’d be wearing all of it), but you can buy shitloads of tights on the site. Tights and knee-highs. They’re called Bear Brand, which is a bit adorable and obviously they’re way cheaper than even Primark. It’s genuinely worth splurging (except it’s not splurging, because everything’s a pound) on the make-up which we tested out here – don’t go crazy until you’ve seen what’s good and what’s crap. Quick hint: the foundation is surprisingly good, the nail varnish is ace, the eyeliner works well, and the lip gloss is like ectoplasm (bad). 

Mobile phone accessories 

Oh God, buy all of them. If you bought every single mobile phone accessory on the site – from car chargers to phone screen protectors – it’d cost £11. Which is less than one of the items when bought anywhere else. Is it just me who bloody loves a mobile phone accessory? Maybe.  

Cleaning

This is where Poundland comes into its own, and where you should focus your splurging because a) everyone needs cleaning essentials; and b) they stock proper good brands for way less than anywhere else (a pound, in case you've not grasped the basic concept of the store). If you go mad and buy stuff you already have, that’s still OK, because it’s always good to have extra-hard surface cleaners, innit? From Cif to Flash to Oust to Dettol to Mr Muscle to Yep I’ve Named All The Brands I Can Think Of. Go nuts, guys. 

The only perceivable downside is that it costs £4 for delivery, which in Poundland terms is like four phone chargers, but if you spend over £50, then it’s free. Oh God. Oh God. It’s happening, isn’t it? We’re all going to start spending our Friday evenings trying to get to £50 on the Poundland website and, honestly, it’s not going to be that hard. 

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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM