I Got My Friends To Review Me Anonymously. Here's What They Said...
The Debrief: From 'You drink too much' to 'You could be more classy' - here's what happened when Frederica Palmer asked her mates to review her.
Ever wondered just how good of a friend you really are? Well, I sent five of my nearest and dearest a buddy-based questionnaire to find out what they really think of me as a mate and why they’ve bothered to keep me in their lives for so long. Recently, there’s been an emerging trend in which men and women ask their previous partners to review what they were like during the course of their relationship or what they were like under the sheets.
As not all of us have a pool of past lovers wide enough or willing enough to complete such a request, I decided to switch things up a bit and send a survey to my mates instead. Turns out a lot of them think I need to head on down to my nearest AA meeting.
1. Rate my taste in men out of 10...
Friend 1 It’s hard to judge we have very different taste, so I’ll say 5. You go for traditional pretty boys whereas I just go for people who are a bit weird and cocky.
Friend 2 0 - Simply because you don't go for men you go for boys who look like they could be out of One Direction.
Friend 3 6/10 - You have a very particular taste in men. The chiselled, muscular rugby beefcake and pretty boy is not to everyone's taste and sometimes you steer away from this and see a few questionable beings.
Friend 4 We have very different taste in men. Where you go for gingers I go for lanky shaggy haired musicians. But we often seem to agree on celebrities so 6.5.
Friend 5 7.5 - The men you pick are hunky and handsome. Just remember though, looks fade but ability the to make you laugh will never go.
There’s a running joke amongst my friends that I don’t go for men, I go for boys, just because I’ve been with a few people younger than me. Didn’t score too well in this round really, but at least we never argue over guys, I guess... Ok, next question:
2. If you could give me some life advice to improve myself, what would it be?
Friend 1 Drink a lot less. You have awful hangovers and I often worry that you’ll get run over on your way home from a night out or something.
Friend 2 Think more positively about life in general as good things do happen when you think there's no chance or can't see it happening to you. It's something I learnt so thought it'd be nice to share.
Friend 3 Cut down on the drinking and making questionable decisions when under the influence, as I'm not sure how much more the liver can handle. But then you wouldn't be fun and ridiculous, so please don't listen to my advice.
Friend 4 I don’t really know but I’d definitely say keep enjoying life and having fun - don’t take it all too seriously.
Friend 5 I feel I am inadequate to give life advice, as I don't yet know how to live my own life to improve myself. However a wise woman (my mother) once told me that life has many stepping-stones so keep things simple and make them fun.
It amuses me that I’ve been advised to drink less but yet these are the friends who encourage me to go out and make all these terrible decisions, nice work, guys! I do think I could probably think more positively as well so I’ll keep that one in mind. Moving on...
3. How long have we been friends for and why do you think our friendship has lasted this long?
Friend 1 I think we became friends when we were in the back of science classes and taking the piss out of our teacher. We tend to dislike the same people and that helps a lot. Although we like to wind each other up I know you would never under any circumstances let any of your friends down if they needed you. You'd be there straight away. You'd probably still be taking the piss out of me relentlessly, but you'd be there.
Friend 2 We've been mates for 8 years and even I don't know how it's lasted this long.
Friend 3 We've been friends for 7 years now and I think it's lasted this long because we don't see each other all of the time, so when we do it's great. We also see most aspects of life in the same way and we are usually in sync with our emotions and mother related issues.
Friend 4 10 years (wow) I think? I feel we've become better friends as the years have gone on, maybe because we became grown up. It also helps that we're both very good at keeping in touch, especially considering the fact we live in different countries.
Friend 5 We've been friends for 8 years - ever since you loudly announced you were going to sit next to me during that awful revision course. I thought you were a right weirdo but knew we'd be best mates after that. We bring different sides out in each other and I know if I've got myself into a bad situation you'll be there to laugh with me and support me through it. We are Eddie and Patsy, darling!
Wow. Should I be worried that one of my closest friends thinks our friendship has lasted because we don’t see each other that often?
4. What is one thing I could improve on, as a friend?
Friend 1 Wipe all the music off your iPod and start again. I can’t spend another night in the cheese room of a club with you screeching along to Westlife.
Friend 2 You could stop attracting weird old men when we go out, because it's annoying. Oh and stop being so emo.
Friend 3 You could be more classy - the loud cackling and vulgar conversations in certain environments can be embarrassing.
Friend 4 I know it’s important to always give your opinion and to say what you mean but maybe sometimes you could just say what a person wants to/needs to hear.
Friend 5 I think you’re afraid of love and giving yourself a chance to have someone in your life. I would put down the barriers and stop being a commitment-phobe. You're also quite quick to judge a person or a situation (however I do suffer from this problem myself) so maybe give people a bit more of a chance and have a little more patience with them.
I think friend two and I may have our first argument now, she’s always the one attracting weird guys when we’re out. I like how serious and honest the fourth and fifth answers to this question are and I’d say they’re both definitely right.
Hmmm - so that was eye opening. I hate to admit it but I think my friends are probably right when they say I don’t open myself up enough to new people and I can admit that I am pretty stubborn and judge people too quickly. I don’t quite agree with my friend who said sometimes it’s better to just say what people want to hear though, to me that just seems like a polite forming of lying? And I think my taste in men definitely got too much abuse here! I never realised quite how much I said mate before now, so I guess I'll try and cut back on that, but the 'fuck it' is here to stay I'm afraid, folks (could that be the new mate?). It was also pretty touching to see how much time and thought they all put into their responses. Will it make me drink less and stop talking to weirdos though? Probably not.
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