'I Got Bored And Kicked Baby Jesus Into The Front Row' And Other Nativity Horror Stories
The Debrief: We collected some of your nativity play anecdotes that made us lol all the way to Bethlehem
School nativity plays are an institution that, according to parenting website Netmums, is rapidly dying out. Where there were once crying donkeys, wise men pulling their beards off and Mary pinching Joseph, there's now aliens, footballers and Elvis Presley. Also, the process is being called a 'winter play' to level the playing field and not leave out those who practise other faiths.
Sounds to us like the nativity is less 'pushed aside' and more 'evolving' – why shouldn't other kids be able to join in with a winter play just because they don't believe that some dudes brought a baby Frankincense? Bring in all the aliens you want if it'll liven up the whole thing, but that does mean we should say goodbye to the traditional yearly fight over Mary and the kid dressed as a cow who pisses himself.
A quick whipround of The Debrief offices brought up some classic anecdotes – from 'My brother was a brick' to 'I was the understudy for the Star and you got to fly in on a harness covered in fairylights then land on a bit of hay, so I thought about injuring the girl' to 'My godson is playing King Herod and walks around saying "IT'S MY JOB TO KILL JESUS"'– so we asked you guys for your nativity play horrors and you rose to the occasion majestically. Like a star in the sky of Bethlehem.
Here are the ones that made us lol all over our mince pies:
@TheDebrief I was Mary. I got bored and kicked Baby Jesus into the third row.— Kaite Welsh (@kaitewelsh) December 2, 2014
@TheDebrief I was Mary and double the size of the 'donkey' that piggy backec me for 20 seconds before dropping me into the audience.— Rachael Krishna (@RachaelKrishna) December 2, 2014
@TheDebrief I was a Chinese Wind. Still don't know what that is— Jess (@jess_commons) December 2, 2014
@TheDebrief I was a Christmas Tree aged 4 and got sacked because I jangled the bells on my costume too much...— Jessica Meins (@wordyloveslots) December 2, 2014
@TheDebrief My mum refused to buy me white leggings/tops so I was always the only navy-blue sheep in the flock.— Chloë Hamilton (@chloehamilton) December 2, 2014
@TheDebrief My angel wings had a bite mark on them because the girl next to me got mad when they kept poking her!— Cakes with Faces (@cakeswithfaces) December 2, 2014
Like this? You might also be interested in...
Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
At work? With your gran?