Here's What Happened When We Got A Bunch Of Straight Guys To Draw Vaginas
The Debrief: After the Facebook page, Gays Draw Vaginas, we thought we'd get straight men to give it a go at committing the female organ to paper...
As a fun little experiment, some fun people who go by the names of Shannon O'Malley and Keith Wilson decided to get gay men to draw pictures of vaginas, or at least, what vaginas symbolise to them. The results are pretty, and pretty funny, and they comprise a coffee table book which O’Malley and Wilson aim to produce more of, depending on how well their Kickstarter crowd-sourcing efforts go. Here are just some of them:
We had a great giggle at them this morning, so we thought, why not ask some straight men to draw a yoni, doodle a fanny, create a clit? For starters, it's all about equality. And secondly, these are guys who hope to deal with IRL vaginas, right?
And besides, maybe other straight guys could learn from these men’s mistakes, and women could take comfort in their assertions. Or we could all collectively gross-out at the depictions of womanhood. Short of changing the world with these pictures, maybe bikini waxers everywhere could abandon that silly nominal strip of pubic hair that they leave on during otherwise all-off bikini waxes. We all know why it’s really there - not for warmth, but to assist a drunk fumbling about in the dark when they're flustered with the challenge of finding your clit.
We’d say we enlisted the artistic quills of our brother publication, FHM, to finely daub a Georgia O’Keeffe style fine art impression of the vagina, but we basically scampered down to their offices and asked them to draw some twats in a book. Which is basically a dream for those guys, right? Here are the results, which we analysed for lols.
This surrealist rendering of the vagina as pussycat not only references the original piece with the rainbow (that's the symbol for gays, you see), but also signifies the vagina as the gold at the end of said fabled rainbow. And there's that big medal, too! This is definitely pro-vagina, whiskers on the frontal-facing buttcheeks notwithstanding.
This minimalist, monochrome design reduces the vagina to its functional elements, but we're hoping this is in an IKEA way (comfortable, a little tricky to handle but ultimately user-friendly) as opposed to a sociopath way.
We're not sure if the vagina is yodelling atop the mountains, or whether the stickman is meant to be praising its brilliance at the end of his journey to peak vagina. Either way, placing it up in the gods, it's fair to say, this man loves fanny.
Simple, yet powerful, this image of the vagina as a fun house is hopefully coming from someone thinking of the joyfulness of vaginas as opposed to the Pat Sharp gunge-heavy game show of the same name we all used to watch as kids. That said, his twin helpers were fit, so it's totally legit for this artist to foster a sexual connection to fun houses. That, or he has just a lot of fun with vaginas.
As we scroll from top to bottom, it's all fine - stylised, but fine - until WHACK. The bumhole. We're not Rorschach experts but if we ever saw an actual bumhole like this, even if it was on a wandering cat, we would probably feel a little worried. Oh well, let's not analyse this too much.
Incredibly neat, very dainty, and the most precise detailing of a clitoris we've seen since those awkward Biology lessons. That said, whoever's got a butterfly tattoo on her left hip might be a bit pissed off when she sees this. On the plus side, lady, you have a VERY tidy vagina (that, or the drawer was being an extra smarty pants and decided to draw a comparison between vaginas and butterflies. They do look similar, don't they?)
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You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating