Esther Baines | Contributing Writer | Friday, 6 May 2016

Flight Attendants Share Their Worst Passenger Stories On Reddit

Flight Attendants Share Their Worst Passenger Stories On Reddit

The Debrief: A job that involves a surprising number of bodily fluids

Reddit Users who are also flight attendants/ flight passengers shared their worst on-flight stories, and most of them are super gross. Here are 11 of the best.

1. I'm Not Sure Which Bit Is Worse

'Had a guy on my flight who would not stop farting. He also hit on the 15 year old girl next to him. Guy was in his late 50s.'

ShibaHook

 

2. This Classy Mum

'I’m not a flight attendant, but I do a similar job on long-distance trains. Once we had a mother blow weed smoke into her newborn daughters face to get her to go to sleep.'

aljobar

 

3. Classic Drunk Guy Move

'This drunk man sits down in a random seat so once the actual people who are assigned to that seat come along this drunk guy starts snapping his fingers at me. I ask to see his boarding pass and he hands me a grocery store receipt.'

greenoliv

 

4. This Passenger Story Of Being Next To A Human Gas Machine

'Flight Attendant comes up, and he’s like can of "VB". He downs it like a duck, and is on the buzzer within five minutes, skulling another VB down. This happens for a good 2-3 years until the blob passes out cold and the stench of his burps fades... All of a sudden a horrific smell hits my nose, so putrid. Realise this guys letting off farts now. Everywhere I look a see people pissed off and shaking heads.

He finally stops farting and wakes up again ordering more beer until the remainder of the flight.' 

dicktation

 

5. Another Passenger Story, In Which The Bare Feet Make It So Much Worse

'I had a flight to London on st pattys day. Proceeded to get wasted and barely made my flight. I had been upgraded and they fed me some pasta dish. I passed out briefly but woke up with a sudden urge to puke. I ran to the bathroom but could only just open the door before I projectile vomitted booze and orange pasta sauce remnants over the entire bathroom. I realized there would be no way to clean it so i just stumbled back to my seat and passed out. Oh and I had bare feet the whole time.'

Jinxycanflush

 

6. This Description Of A Story Which You Probably Don't Want To Read The Whole Of

TL;DR: Indian ice cream created diarrhea eruption, decorated lavatory wall with shit and destroyed hopes and dreams.

THC-isodope

 

7. This Other Classy Mum Passenger Story

Like the trashy woman who changed her baby's poopy diaper on her tray table next to me, and without a glance or ask, put the dirty diaper on my tray table where I had a snack and drink while they finished up.

hatheaded

 

8.  This Passenger Who Tells Of A Pretty Shady Move From A Flight Attendant

This flight attendant should have limited himself to giving it to his own kids, instead of sneaking Xanax into a baby bottle.

2OQuestions

 

9. This Man Who Puts Most Americans To Shame

My aunt worked as an "air stewardess" for a few years in the 80's. Her most memorable passenger was on a 1.5 hour evening flight. Visibly inebriated, he sang The Star Spangled Banner, God Bless America, and a couple of verses fromYankee Doodle for a while (30 minutes or so) before passing out until landing.

This already sounds strange, but the fact that it took place on flight from Moscow to St. Petersburg makes it even weirder.

hunter15991

10. This Considerate Human Being

I was on an 8 hour overnight flight and since I can't sleep on planes I had decided to get drunk on the free booze. When the plane was coming in to land I needed to throw up but couldn't find the sick bag, so threw up in to one of the blankets they had given out.

ViscountLobulon

11. And Finally, This Tale Of Endurance And Non-Existent Blankets

[Passenger] starts slur-demanding blankets, we don't have blankets on our flights, we explain that yet she insists we are lying and just being lazy.

 She takes her seat but within five minutes she's ringing her call light repeatedly, bothering the other Flight Attendants demanding they stop being lazy and please just fetch her the blankets that we've, time and time again, insisted we don't have on board.

I tell her one final time, and I honestly can't help but laugh when I say 'I promise that if we had blankets it would be SO SO SO much easier to give them to you than to continue having this terrible conversation.' At this point procedure is to call the police if passengers refuse to leave which can result in arrest.

She now claims she has a medical condition concerning her circulation and can't walk off the plane any longer, so she should just be allowed to fly and that wouldn't somehow turn into an in-air medical shit show. Yeah no.

She finally fucking cooperates. BUT says she has to be wheeled off the plane because she can't walk. That means pulling out our little ghetto onboard wheelchair which is the only thing narrow enough to fit down the aisles.

So we did it. Gritting our teeth damn it we wheeled her ass off! I shit you not, the whole cabin CHEERED.

greenoliv 

That involved a surprising amount of bodily functions. So glad I'm not a flight attendant. 

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