Are Women Really Buying Fake Pregnancy Tests Online To Lock Down Their Relationships Over Christmas?
The Debrief: Tis the season to lie to your boyfriend about being knocked up so he stays with you (wtf?)
Apparently women are selling positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist to wave in front of their boyfriend's faces in order to lock them down over Christmas. You know, because Christmas is a famous time for men cheating on their girlfriend's because they're not pregnant.
Metro reports that ads have sprung up all over Craigslist flogging the positive tests for $20 (around £12), with one reading: 'I have a positive pregnancy test for those of you who need a little help holding onto your man through the holidays. Shoot me a message for $20 each.'
Speaking as someone who has a pregnancy scare roughly every six months, I can vouch for the fact that this will not help you to hold onto your man. Unless both of you want kids desperately, this will help him hold onto you with a sort of pale face and a fixed smile while he repeatedly says 'Hey, it'll be fine' while Googling furiously on his phone questions like 'what is pregnancy?' and 'what do you do if your girlfriend is pregnant and you're frightened?'
Even if you do both want kids, there's nothing like lying over Christmas. And what happens afterwards? Do you fake a miscarriage? Because that's dark. And tempting fate. But mainly dark.
Fake pregnancy tests have been available on eBay for ages billed as prank gifts ('HAHA I'M PREGNANT' 'I can't do this anymore this is too much' 'But it's a joke' 'OK now I have to leave you because your sense of humour is nigh-on sinister' etc etc), and these Craigslist ones are being accused of blackmail by the police.
'For example, if a married man is having an affair and he tried to break it off with the girl, and she became upset and decided to present this fake pregnancy test and remade money, otherwise she would tell the spouse,' Gary Mason of Kansas force in the US told The Metro. 'That would be a level of blackmail.'
Yeah, yeah it would. But seriously, the amount of women who are actually considering doing this to their SOs have way bigger problems than just being morally questionable. Not entirely sure how valid these ads actually are, and whether women are really buying these things but lets hope it's just an anomaly - after all, what happened to festive spirit? Mince pies, not lies!
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At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating