All The Lies We Tell Ourselves Every Single Summer
The Debrief: We'll definitely be healthier, happier and all round better human beans.
Oh, summer. Every year you come around and fill us with optimism, promise of better weather and dreams of whiling away our days in the great outdoors. And every bloody year it gets to July and we remember that actually summer is just like the rest of the year, only mildly warmer and that actually we spend no time in parks and all the time being hungover and poor and watching TV. Booo.
And we’ll admit, we’re guilty here too. Because we also make promises to ourselves and tell lies about how the summer will make us better people who drink less, eat less and exercise more. But not any more. Time to admit to ourselves that in summer we’re the same wine drinking, fried chicken eating, Netflix binging lazy bones that we are the rest of the bloody year.
Without further ado, here are the nine lies we tell ourselves every May, and forget about every September.
1.I’ll live off salad leaves because it’s summer and I won’t be at all hungry. (Except for ice creams but that’s fine because it’s summer.)
2. I’ll read loads of good books because I won’t want to be stuck inside watching TV as the weather will be so nice.
3. I’ll run five times a week because it’s summer and the weather will be nice.
4. The weather will be nice.
5. I’ll save loads of money because I’ll be in the park not the pub.
6. I definitely won’t buy many new clothes or bikinis because I have loads already and that would be wasteful.
7. I’ll walk to and from work, every day.
8. At the weekends, I’ll do loads of outdoor trips to lidos and ponds and parks and get out and get back to nature and stuff.
9. Due to lido, pond and park visits will totally drink less because will feel so wholesome and outdoorsy.
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