6 People Reveal The Real Reason They Ghosted You
The Debrief: 'After we slept together I started to realise how much I missed my ex girlfriend...'
Illustration by Marja de Sanctis
We've all been there. After three incredible dates, a fortnight of non-stop WhatsApp banter and a night spent cuddled up in an all night Netflix binge - they’re nowhere to be seen. Five vodka and cokes down and a double text later - you get the message. But what makes someone go totally quiet after a seemingly great date - or three? We talk to three guys and three girls about the real reason they ghosted...
'I realised just how powerful a good Instagram filter is'
'I’d been speaking to a guy on Plenty of Fish for a few weeks and he seemed nice. He was 8 years older than me, but with a big hipster beard, an arm full of tattoos and a Facebook feed of buff holiday snaps - I didn’t really care. We agreed to meet on New Years Eve for a casual coffee but as soon as I lay eyes on him I knew he wasn’t the one. His stylish facial fuzz was nothing more than a mass of grey wire, his muscles had deflated to spaghetti arms and his tattoo sleeve was severely over shadowed by his camp demeanour; I soon realised just how powerful a good Instagram filter is. After an awkward afternoon explaining to him that my boobs and lips were real (much to his dismay) and drinking my vanilla latte as fast as humanly possible when he thought it was okay to guess my bra size and awkwardly wink at me - I told him I was meeting a friend and left. He text me as soon as I got in my car, but I never replied.'
'He got a mallet out from the seat underneath my car seat… I shit myself'
“I went out with this guy who wouldn't stop twitching. He dropped me home after I made my excuses but he got a mallet out from underneath my seat to open my door. I practically shit myself, obviously. He mumbled that that door stuck so sometimes it needs a good shove - but I wasn't expecting him to casually bang it open with a hammer. I hurried out of the door as fast as I could and made a mental note to book some driving lessons. Safe to say I didn’t text him again. He text me though to ask what I thought of him and asked if I would like to go on a second date?! I ignored him and then he got quite snotty and asked why I was on a dating site if I wasn't going to reply… blocked!'
'He was 5’4 and was sweating like nothing I’d seen before'
'The only person I’ve ever ghosted was a guy I met off Tinder. I arranged to meet him at my local train station as I was traveling back from London. He looked lovely in his photos but when I got there he was about 5’4, had muscles the size of his head and was sweating like nothing I'd ever seen before! As a 6ft woman, I like my men to be quite tall - so I was quite disappointed to be greeted with an overly pumped up Kevin Hart when his profile promised me Chris Brown. We walked to Nando’s, taking the back route to avoid anyone seeing me with this meathead, and I watched him devour a whole chicken and 5 wings to himself as I nibbled on my chips. He didn’t even have a side. When he suggested dessert, I declined and legged it to the pub to meet my friends instead. I never spoke to him again but he still messages me now! Why?'
'I just couldn't work out how else to do it'
'Recently, I ghosted this girl because I just couldn't work out how else to do it. She was nice enough but I didn’t feel like I had a strong enough connection with her and after three dates we weren't exactly exclusive. It felt too harsh to turn round to her like ‘Sooo, I'm not really feeling this anymore…” so I decided to just stop messaging her.'
'After we slept together I realised how much I missed my ex girlfriend'
'I met a girl on Twitter and we had a really great connection. I’d seen her around before so I sent her a few cheeky tweets and we ended up bumping into each other a few days later. We really hit it off and dated for a couple weeks - she even spent the night round my flat. But after we slept together I started to realise how much I missed my ex girlfriend. I realised that I wasn’t over her and I wasn’t ready for a new relationship. I didn’t want to explain all that to her and hurt her feelings so I just stopped responding to her texts and hoped that she got the message.'
'The lady asked for our money and my date just looked at me'
'There was a girl in my class back in college that I had my eye on for ages. She was hot - but I’d never actually spoke to her. After about a year of silently staring at her in science, I plucked up the courage to Facebook her and we arranged to meet at the cinema. When we got to the counter she ordered our Kong Fu Panda tickets, a large popcorn, a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and two Ice blasts but when the lady asked for our money - my date just looked at me and smiled. Handing over forty quid, (and totalling in my head that I had to flip burgers for 10 hours to earn that) I felt a little used. The next morning I woke up to five message from her. Five. “Morning babycakes!” “Hey! I had a great time last night!” “Iyaa! Wanna come round mine tonight?” “HEY!! What’s up? ;)” “Wanna grab lunch?” It freaked me out, so instead of replying to her, I ghosted and avoided eye contact in class for the next six months.'
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