Sophie Wilkinson | Contributing Editor | Thursday, 15 January 2015

That Anti-Feminist ‘Political Leader’ Says Fat Women Are Like Plants

The Debrief: Mike Buchanan is the leader of the Justice For Men And Boys party…

We recently brought you news of a political party called the Justice For Men And Boys (J4MB) party, a party that’s deliberately looking to stall women’s rights, because according to them: ‘Feminism is a hatred, and it should be a badge of shame’.

You know what else their leader, Mike Buchanan says? That fat women are fat because they’re gaining weight via the sun, like plants.

In his self-published book, Feminism: The Ugly Truth, he explains in a chapter entitled, ‘Why Are Fat Women Fat’: ‘I haven’t ironed out all the details of the theory yet, but it appears that some women are genetically predisposed to putting on weight regardless of what they eat and drink.

‘The most obvious scientific explanation for this phenomenon is that the women are photosynthesizing. Photosynthesis is the process which occurs in plants, algae, and many species of bacteria, and results from the action of light upon the green pigment chlorophyll, which enables organisms to put on mass by converting carbon dioxide from the atmosphere into organic compounds, especially sugars.’

READ MORE: ‘Confused Cats Against Feminism’ Is The Best Thing You’ll See All Day

Now, we really don’t want to give this man undue attention, but to any guys out there who, feeling a little crisis of masculinity, a little unsure of where they stand in an increasingly equal world, think that Mike’s on to a good idea… well, we just hope you’re reading this.

Mike added that, due to putting on weight just like plants, fat women had a particular skin colour: ‘The first woman to have this genetic mutation would have been green, and we must assume that not even the most desperate men wanted green offspring. A later genetic mutation resulted in a pigment which mimics the action of chlorophyll but is colourless, so photosynthesizing women are no longer green.’

He adds, to bolster this whack theory: ‘Although it might be that the pigment isn’t colourless after all, but orange. A surprising proportion of fat women – in England at least – are orange.’

READ MORE: An Anti-Feminist Party Is Entering Itself In The General Election. Here Are The Worst Bits Of The Manifesto

What else does he say in his book? ‘Feminists are generally less attractive than normal women’ and ‘My theory is that many feminists are profoundly stupid as well as hateful, a theory which could readily be tested by arresting a number of them and forcing them – with the threat of denying them access to chocolate – to undertake IQ tests.’

Regarding another book he’s published, Guitar Gods in Beds (Welcome To Bedfordshire: A Heavenly County) his Amazon page explains: ‘The colourful life stories of eight amateur / semi-pro / professional guitarists living and performing in Mike Buchanan's adopted town, the throbbing metropolis of Bedford, England.’

Throbbing metropolis? Now that’s odd.

Like this? You might also be interested in:

An Open Letter To The ‘Women Who Don’t Need Feminism’. Here’s A Clue: You Do

Was 2014 A Tipping Point For Feminism?

Now Elliot Rodger Has Been Called A Hero On Men’s Rights Activist Websites

Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson

Picture: Rex

Tags: FFS News, General Election 2015