Still Undecided Who To Vote For? Here Are The Alternative Parties Running In The Election
The Debrief: From drugs to anti-feminists, from people who don't want currency to people who just want animals to live better lives. Here are some other parties you can vote for at the general election...
As the election looms, those of you who’ve registered to vote (that’s 70% of young people) might still be a bit undecided as to who to actually vote for.
While some people might recommend spoiling your ballot paper, you might live in one of the constituencies where there are some other parties on offer. Yep, there are more parties beyond Labour, the Conservatives, Lib Dems, Greens, UKIP, Plaid Cymru and the SNP. And here are just some of them:
Children of the Atom
The Children of the Atom party wants the creation of a society in which debt is eradicated with the invention of a debt-free currency, called Seed, plus a universal payment to everyone for life, from birth to death, of £27,000. Under the Seed scheme there will be free childcare provision, education and training for everyone up to the age of 21.
Official Monster Raving Loony Party
This party’s policies are utterly random and seemingly done to poke fun at the ridiculousness of the electoral system. Promised policies include making unicorns a protected species, turning solar panels into ‘sustainable lunar farms to collect moonbeams at night for conversion into green cheese which could be sold at local farm shops’, and reducing the national debt by selling castles ‘back to the French’.
We Are The Reality Party (set up by Bez from 90s party band Happy Mondays)
Anti-austerity, anti-privatisation, anti-corruption, this party’s views are actually pretty sensible, coming from a man whose previous job was to act as a hype man for a band with songs that included lyrics like, ‘You’re twisting my melon, man’, and which reached the height of popularity at the same time as Britain’s free party culture (ie drugs) of the late 1980s/early 1990s.
Al-Zebabist Nation of OOOG
This party wants to ‘Free Afro-Thanetian Zaliphate from the grips of Broadstafarian and English hegemony’. Which means the party is against the racism and racist violence that has gone on for years in Broadstairs on the Isle of Thanet. Which hasn’t been an island since the 16th century.
Free United Kingdom Party (FUKP)
This is a satirical party set up by Al Murray – the comedian – to rival UKIP’s Nigel Farage in Thanet South. Al could very well take votes away from a race that needs Farage to lose for UKIP’s leadership – and its relevance in our democracy – to tumble.
Justice for Men and Boys (and the Women Who Love Them)
This party opposes feminism and advocates men’s and boys’ rights, thinking that the two cannot coexist. Its leader Mike Buchanan says that feminism is ‘hatred and should be a badge of shame’. He’s running against shadow women’s minister Gloria De Piero in Ashfield and has also written a book suggesting that women get overweight because they photosynthesise, like plants.
Animal Welfare Party
This party wants to end slaughter without prior stunning and to re-direct EU subsidies away from animal/fish farming and into plant-based agriculture.
Beer, Baccy and Scratchings Party (renamed from the ‘Beer, Baccy and Crumpet’ party, as the sole parliamentary candidate of the party, pensioner Ray Hall, meant ‘crumpet’ in a sexy way, not in a ‘food’ way.)
This party wants to bring back 10p tax rate, cap immigration, cut excessive fees from banks, utilities and professional services. Ray says: ‘It’s trying to keep the same concept of working class people who enjoy a pint, cigarette and a packet of crisps or scratchings.’
Above and Beyond Party
This party wants to get the ‘none of the above’ option on all UK ballot papers. Basically, what Rick Edwards wants to happen.
Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol Party (CISTA)
Not only does this party have a catchy name, but it wants to look at drug law reform which could consider the legalisation of drugs and the consideration of their safe sale in the UK. Most of the candidates are very young and beautiful, too. Because apparently that’s a way we judge potential MPs.
And just as people are seeking independence for Wales (Plaid Cymru) and Scotland (the SNP), others will be looking for independence for these places: Yorkshire, Wessex, the North East, the North, Lincolnshire and Cornwall (Mebyon Kernow).
There are also some more serious parties – including TUSC, the trade unionists; or Respect, the anti-war, pro-civil liberties party; and the 30-50 party which takes the ‘idealism’ of the under-30s and the ‘experience’ of the over-50s.
So not all the small parties are entirely out there, and you never know which one could be the next UKIP, popularity-wise.
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