Sophie Wilkinson | Contributing Editor | Thursday, 20 August 2015

Why Ben Cohen\\\'s Not As Bad A Cheater As The Ashley Madison Lot

Why Ben Cohen's Not As Bad A Cheater As The Ashley Madison Lot

The Debrief: If you're going to cheat, at least do it because you fancy too many people, not because you hate your partner enough to spend time disclosing your deepest desires to a website...

The Strictly Come Dancing curse has struck again. This hex is upon those marrieds who stupidly think that sidling up to a be-sequinned dancer under the make-up, spotlights and pressure that is the UK’s most famous televised dance-off won’t lead to a between-the-sheets tango. And that the sound of applause won’t someday be replaced with the thud of divorce papers on a doormat one morning.

The curse’s latest ‘victim’ is rugby player Ben Cohen, splitting from wife of 13 years Abby after he’s been going out with dancing partner Kristina Rhianoff. Ben’s since been spotted holidaying with Kristina, and Abby’s hit out at them both, saying: ‘My husband, who I was with for 23 years, unconditionally loved and was completely loyal to in every respect, has left me for a f***ing Russian dancer.’

We can’t accuse him of celebrity excess, because cheating, though made easier if you can afford a few different phones and credit cards that can’t be traced, is for us normals, too. That’s what we’ve learned after Ashley Madison, a dating site of 37 million users, was hacked. The hackers have now released their data, and you can search anyone you suspect of being a cheater simply by typing their email in to various search sites that have been created simply for the purpose of helping process the data.

While it’s depressing to see that people’s private, most intimate desires have been leaked by a massive company that was once trusted with them, our sympathy levels are low. Especially if you compare these people to Ben.

Yes. Ben the rugby player who left his childhood sweetheart of a wife with seven-year-old twins to cha cha into the sunset with a dancer he had chemistry with on a family entertainment show. It might seem crass, but at least – at the very least – there’s something organic to his affair. If you really have to cheat, let it be because you got caught up in lust for someone you have actually met.

The alternative – to go on sites like Ashley Madison – is too calculated to let slide. So, you don’t actually fancy anyone else but you dislike your partner so much you’ll go online to tick boxes, fill out forms to eventually select someone to fancy? So you’re a coward and a nerd.

The ‘I got carried away with it’ cheaters’ defence is almost reasonable, because it basically means ‘I’m sloppy, I make mistakes, I’m human.’ As for the Ashley Madison users, they’ve done way too much admin to rationally turn to their jilted spouses and say, ‘Babe, it was entirely unplanned.’

And if you’re going to use the internet to get your kicks – there’s plenty of other website out there.

Like this? You might also be interested in:

It’s 2015, So Why Are Women Still Treated Differently To Guys When They Cheat?

Things You Only Know When Your Boyfriend Cheats On You...With His Friend

The Psychology Of Being Cheated On

Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson

Tags: Relationships