Sophie Wilkinson | Contributing Editor | Wednesday, 24 December 2014

The Rebrief: Here's What Happened In July 2014

The Debrief: In which Orlando Bloom walloped Justin Bieber in the weirdest celeb bust up ever, and that Magaluf bar crawl video went viral...

Illustration by Sophia Den Breems

July was a month of long-awaited justice. Former children’s entertainer Rolf Harris was found guilty of historic sex allegations and jailed for eight years. 

Tulisa Contostavlos also appeared in court to defend herself against allegations that she had offered to supply Mazher Mahmood, or the ‘Fake Sheikh’. The case was eventually thrown out after the prosecution suspected he had been lying. He was suspended from The Sun and Tulisa vowed to get her life back.

 

The final bit of justice served was Justin Bieber getting a wallop from Orlando Bloom in Cipriani restaurant in Ibiza. Looked on by Leonardo DiCaprio, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, it was the glitziest bust-up we’ve ever seen. Oh, and it made us think quite a bit differently about Miranda Kerr…Ibiza also hosted part of Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cruise holiday of a relationship. We only mention it right now because it was maybe the oddest coupling we’d seen so far this year.

Another Malaysian flight went missing, but this time, it turned up shortly afterwards on Ukrainian ground. All of the 298 people onboard perished. Putin was accused of setting his own Russian troops up in the country, but he basically evaded the issue.

More leaked videos now came in the form of Joe Public being exposed as getting drunk and horny while on holidays on so-called ‘party islands’. A girl was filmed giving 24 men blowjobs in quick succession at a Magaluf bar crawl nd was unfortunately held up as an example of our own culture gone to the dogs even though this sort of thing has been going on for aeons just not always filmed for people to feign shock. And, hello, the boys are involved, too! Not just one, but 24 of them!

On the sunnier side of things (and there was actual sunshine this month, we think) Kate Moss showed the joviality of a drunken Brit abroad, giggling tipsily while waiting for an EasyJet flight at a Turkish airport on the very day a minister there implored women not to laugh.

Oh, and everyone fell for an advert of loads of strangers kissing, thinking it was a beautifully crafted compilation of chance meetings and not a concerted effort to get us ‘aww’-ing. That said, the parodies were great. 

Meanwhile, the conflict in Israel and Palestine heated up after three Israeli boys were kidnapped and murdered on their way home from school. It’s way too long to summarise here, but at the time of typing, 2,200 Palestinian civilians died, along with 66 Israeli soldies. Thousands more Palestinians were injured. 

Banger(s) of the month: Just in case Iggy Azealea's Fancy didn't tip you off that Charli XCX was going to be kind of a big deal, Boom Clap, the first single off her upcoming album Sucker cemented her place in the annals of 2014. See also, X Ambassadors, Jamie N Commons and Jay-Z's Jungle.

We were watching: This month was all about Richard Linklater's Boyhood, the three hour, six minute epic filmed over the course of 12 years. Of course if you fancied something a little bit more lighthearted, there was the suprisingly excellent Guardians of the Galaxy which took Chris Pratt from loveable comedy character actor to stone cold fox with a knack for hair braiding.

Liked this? You might also be interested in:

Lolling Turkish Women Respond To Minister's Morality Crusade Via Selfies

Tulisa's New Documentary Will Make Even The Most Hardened Hater Feel Some Sympathy For The Former X Factor Judge

The Men Behind Carnage In Magaluf Rake In £15k A Week

Follow Sophie on Twitter @Sophwilkinson

Illustration by Sophia Den Breems

Tags: The Rebrief