Aimee Jakes | Contributing Writer | Wednesday, 10 May 2017

The Most Outrageous Made in Chelsea Quotes Of All Time

43 Of The Most Outrageous Made in Chelsea Quotes Of All Time

The Debrief: 'We always had to wear a bow tie at Eton, like, every day'

 My name is Aimee Jakes and I have sat through every single episode of Made in Chelsea. Right from that very first one where Caggie (remember Caggie?!) does her best 'Gossip Girl xoxo' impression and really makes a point of how ruddy scandalous their lives are (we get it!!), through to present day tiffs and riffs with Tiff and Toff. 

So, I ventured back to key episodes with a notepad and pen in hand, sat through every brunch, lunch and cheating hunch (which admittedly has died down dramatically since Spenny's departure) and bring you all the best quotes from Made In Chelsea you probably forgot about. Safe to say it's probably not the sort of material you'll want be tagging with #MondayMotivation #qotd and #lifeinspo over on Instagram but hey, we're here for the lolz. 

Mark Francis Vandelli's most outrageous quotes 

 

“Fur, fur, fur. I just live for fur… and those thong type things, I just want to heave.”

 

‘Unless you have a family tiara, you don’t wear one.’

‘An overly tanned stomach is never chic’
‘Nandos…? What is Nandos?’
‘I once knew someone who had a sleeping bag and the moment I found out, that friendship was over.’
'For God's sake, will you maintain a modicum of decorum'

‘I don’t have any resolutions whatsoever, how could I possibly improve upon myself’

‘I want to be in everyone’s breast pocket, caressing half of London’s nipples’
‘I was in Cannes, then I was in Capri, then Paris: It’s all been so stressful’
‘Darling, you must come for a restorative glass of champagne!’
‘Taking pictures at a fashion show is as bad as the private jet selfie!’
‘A sleeping bag?!... ok, that is one thing I could never contemplate’
‘There’s nothing more depressing than going to a dinner party where there are no flowers.’

‘I think the key is always to have the best of the best’

‘Gosh, peace is hard to find.’
‘You capsize this boat, I’ll capsize your world’
‘Topshop is definitely a turn-off.’
‘Retail therapy is the best thing to get over anything… or anybody!’
‘Well what can I say, if one doesn’t know how to waltz, one doesn’t know how to foxtrot. Unless one knows how to foxtrot simply doesn’t know how to do anything in life. Nothing worth doing anyway.’

 

Francis Boulle's best quotes

 

'Business is like a jungle, but I love animals.'
'Jesus was like a superhero you know. He just got shit done.'
'You've got a killer rear-end'
'I'm sweat-working at the minute...it's where you work up a sweat whilst networking.'

On Ashley James...

'She exhibited very odd behaviour... She stole my socks. It wasn't at that stage where she could steal my socks.'
'I'm quite edgy. I've got quite a lot of edges.'
'A bike is like a lover. You need to know when to change up a gear, and when to put on the brakes.'
'I actually raised a rabbit in my room at boarding school'

 

Lucy Watson's sassiest quotes

'You don't forget putting your dick in someone else's vagina.'

 

'If you get a legit smile out of me, then it's an achievement.'
'You're another level of disgusting.'
'I prefer my dog's company than most other people.'
'If anyone with a penis comes and talks to me, I'll be very angry'

'Why is everyone getting up in my grill?'
 

'I just hate you and despise you'

 


Stevie Johnson's insightful quotes

 

'We always had to wear a bow tie at Eton, like every day'.

On Sam promising to change after cheating on Tiff...

'This is like when you update an app but nothing really changes.'

 

 

Ollie Locke's best quotes

 

'Ronald Dahl didn't write Winnie the Pooh, Darling'
'[Love is] the one thing we can't explain, and the one thing we can't live without.'
Richard: Ollie, Tou're determined to be gay aren't you?
Ollie: Well yes this month.

 

Victoria Baker-Harber's sassiest quotes

 

 

'I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker colour.'
Louise: 'I think Cheska might come'
Friend: 'Who's that?'
Victoria: ' You won't know her she'd not relevant'

Like this? Then you might also be interested in: 

Victoria Baker Harber From Made In Chelsea Who Is This Enigma Of A Woman?

MIC’S Steph, Proudlock and Francis on Whether They Watch Themselves On TV

MIC's Jess and Toff. Jess 'I Was More Of An Avril Lavigne Wannabe And Toff Was A S Club 7 girl!' 

Follow Aimee on Twitter @aimeejakes