How To Escape A Date You No Longer Want To Be On
The Debrief: It's never going to be easy, but you can at least soften the blow
According to a new study by the chaps over at Time Out, women decide whether they want to be on a date with a dude within the first two or three minutes of the date starting, with further 14% going as far as to decide 'yay' or 'nay' the moment they lay eyes on them. Men on the other hand, are decidely less picky with most giving their date a little while longer to impress.
With research like this it's fair to deduce that every night there's plenty of dates going on that girls (and then later guys) don't want to be on, but are prevailing for politeness' sake. Last week for instance, my friend went to meet a guy for a drink, a guy who’s Tinder profile pictures were oh, roughly seven years old and who, in the ensuing time had changed nearly every single thing about his appearance. Plus, he really liked Football Manager which incidentally turned out to be the subject that most of the (one sided) conversation ended up revolving around. Being a nice girl though, my friend stayed for two hours out of politeness before going home and sending him a text saying they should probably stick to being friends. And, although the guy was nice enough, and it's always nice to meet new people, that's two damn hours she could have spent doing something much for rewarding like rewatching House of Cards. So, is there a foolproof way to cut out of a date early? Answer; no. There is varying degrees of success though. Here’s a few rules to live by...
Don’t be a dick
As tempting as it might be for you to cut out and run (‘just going to the cash point! Back in five!’ before running off to sunny Mexico or more likely, your house), what might be a method of avoiding an awkward convo and creating a fun anecdote for laters for you, might just be the thing that sets this dude back a year. Perhaps it was his first date in months, or first date post bad-breakup? You climbing out the window of the toilets to your sweet blessed freedom might seem like the easy way out but it's going to be the thing that he remembers for the rest of his God given life.
If you’re going to make an excuse, don’t go overboard
Time and time again people fail hard at lying by including too many details; like the time my flatmate told me she was on her way to meet me then her phone died so she went all the way to Wimbledon to borrow a friend's phone to text me and got lost. Nice try. If you were out with your friends and had to go home to let your flatmate in because she'd lost her keys, you'd probably say just that. You definitely wouldn't include a whole back story about your flatmate's social anxiety and the next door neighbours being shifty about people hanging around out the front of the flat would you? Whatever excuse you give your date he's going to know you're lying but at least leave him with a chance you might be telling the truth.
There is one excuse he’ll believe
Sex and the City nailed it with this one. The one thing that convinces Miranda that a guy leaving a date early actually needs to leave and isn’t 'just not that into her' is the fact that he has the shits. The actual shits. If you’ve got the balls to look your date in the eye and say you’ve got diarrhoea then power to you sister; you can walk out of there with your head held high knowing you’ve definitely not hurt anyone’s feelings. Although you may have lost some dignity.
Don’t get trapped
There’s a reason people from our socially awkward, dating-confused generation don’t go for dinner on a first date; easy freaking access to the door. Is there anything worse than waiting for your main meal to arrive knowing you’ve already covered the essential points of conversation AND have exhausted how much you both love Game Of Thrones? So, obviously, stick to dates that just involve drinks. But, as well, go one step further and double check you’ve got cash in change beforehand so you can leave it on the table and run. Also, figure out what route he’s getting home before you leave so you can calculate an alternate route from a different station or bus stop. Never knowingly underprepared for a potentially shit date; the motto of our generation.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
'A 24-Hour Support Group And A Penis Video. Here's What Happens When I Tried Tindering When Heartbroken'
Single? Here's Why You Should Move To Manchester (Or Just Get Out Of London)
The Many Complications Of Setting Up Your Friends
Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating