Calling BS On Going For Dinner On A First Date
The Debrief: It is 100% not a thing, people
Think back to the last ‘first date’ you went on. Did you go to a swanky restaurant, order a three-course meal, drink a bottle of merlot then hop in a cab home? Like hell you did. Perhaps it was a more subdued affair like a casual dinner at Nando’s? Still no.
How about this: met in a bar after work, got really pissed after three glasses of wine (no dinner), ran for the last tube and was a tiny little bit sick when you got home? Yeah, thought so.
That’s because going out for food on a first date is 100% not a thing. There’s nothing worse than sitting in front of a person you barely know, deciding what to order (salad = trying too hard, burger = trying too hard) then trying not to drop said chosen food in your lap, all while keeping a steady flow of interesting conversation. Exhausting.
And that’s not all. What if you don’t have anything to say? What if it’s really, really awkward? You’ve committed to eating now, so you’re going to have to sit down – directly opposite, ffs – and deal with it. Enjoy your meal.
That said, the dating app Clover (no, me neither) has found that Nando’s is the most popular first date location, which, as we’ve established, is complete BS. The CEO of Clover even told the Metro that, ‘We were surprised to see most people choosing to meet at coffee shops and casual restaurants for their first date. We expected fine dining, bars and nightclubs to rank much higher, but clearly people want to meet in a relaxed environment.’
Did you though? Fine dining? I’m lucky if I can afford to get some lime cordial in my soda water. Here’s some more reasons why dinner on a first date is not for me.
No one looks like this when they eat
It’s more like this
Eating food together/feeding each other is not romantic
If I want to go to a restaurant on a first date I’ll go on First Dates
I just want to eat and enjoy my food in peace, alright?
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At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating