Sophie Wilkinson | Contributing Editor | Wednesday, 28 January 2015

What If Our Favourite Soap Stars Taught Sex Education?

The Debrief: With news that Neighbours’ Harold Bishop is to play a condom-supplying granddad, we look at who else we could learn a bit from…

Harold Bishop of Neighbours fame is to play a sex-savvy granddad who teaches his grandson to put a condom on properly. Obvs, it’s not actual tuba-playing Harold Bishop, but actor Ian Smith who’ll be taking on the role in the Australian sex education programme Ask Granddad. He told KIIS FM: ‘50, 55 years in the business and here I am: sex education.'

But it got us to thinking, what if other soap stars taught us sex ed? Who would the teachers be and what would they teach?

Helen Flanagan – how to be sexy and proud of it

OK, so she might not be a soap star anymore, as she left Coronation Street in 2012, but what we want to learn from here is how to deflect against all of those ‘yeah, she’s fit, but only in an obvious way’ comments to get what you want.

Kat Slater – how to be a tart with a heart

Sure, she gets hurt at almost every turn, but what we love about EastEnders’ Kat Slater (played by Jessie Wallace) is that she keeps on going, getting what she wants when she wants it and still having a bit of warmth to her. Oh, she could also do a sideline in teaching people how to deal with teen pregnancies – just give the baby to your mother and pretend to be it’s older sister!

READ MORE: How True Blood Started A Sexual Revolution In Television

Kieron Richardson – the serious stuff

Hollyoaks works pretty hard to provide the educational stuff in amongst the ridiculous storylines, and most recently it’s as a bit of sex education by teaching young people about HIV/Aids. It can get a bit worthy sometimes, but it’s informing a nation of people about something that’s pretty important. Plus, Ste Hay might be one of the prettiest people on the show, which sure helps sugarcoat the message.

Danny Dyer – how to woo someone

Is it littering your speech with swearwords? Is it walking around the east end of London with a permanent smize? Is it saying whatever’s on your mind? Whatever it is, it’s worked for Danny, because an alarming amount of people really do fancy the EastEnders actor.

READ MORE: Here's What Happened When We Recreated Sex Scenes From Classic Films

Tony from Hollyoaks – how to keep on going and going and going and going

Seriously, that guy (played by Nick Pickard) has been in the show for years and years, he must be able to help any early-arrivers out with a bit of stamina training

Kylie Minogue – how to experiment, and how to be sexy for a very long time

Kylie, who went from soap star on Neighbours to pop star across the world, could give a great lesson in the importance of straying from what’s expected of you. She could also, perhaps more obviously, give a great lesson in why it’s OK to be sexually expressive when you’re approaching middle age.

Like this? You might also be interested in:

In Defence Of Being A Prude

Why You Need To Stop Everything And Re-Watch Gossip Girl

Sex Lessons We Learned From Eurotrash

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Tags: Sex, TV We\'re Unashamedly Watching