We Photoshop Ourselves In Solidarity With Britney Spears
The Debrief: Yeah she looks totally different, but let's be pricks about it - there's nothing nice about seeing yourself edited to look better than you actually do...
All right so Britney is getting a bit of flack for appearing on the front cover of Women’s Health looking like Heidi Klum ten years ago, sporting what will surely be the runaway winner of the Most Contoured Nose Award 2014.
And yes, she looks nothing like herself. If anything, it’s a bit scary. But hey, she’s 33 years old, had so much stick over the years for not conforming to the size zero stereotype (the aforementioned ‘Mrs She’s Too Fat Now She’s Too Thin’ from the single Piece of Me from the 2009 comeback album Blackout) – (No, you’re a loser), and it definitely wasn’t her sitting in the editing room contouring her own nose.
If you want to point the finger of blame, why not point it at society, amiright guys? We complain whenever someone looks fat, thin, old, saggy and we voraciously click on those sidebars of shame, leering over bikini pics with judgemental eyes before going home and staring at ourselves in the mirror, crying. That’s the real circle of shame, right there.
So instead of being mean, we decided to support Britney in all her endeavours and got our creative editor Anna to hideously Photoshop a pic of our staff writer Stevie (who is currently writing about herself in third person, like a true legend) to show just how easy it is to make someone look like a completely different human via the medium of Adobe.
And also how gross that person feels when someone else has got rid of all their real-life flaws, turning them into a perfect human that they’ll never manage to actually emulate. And also to show that, erm, who cares?
Avert your eyes from Women’s Health and check out all the other front pages – do you think they #wokeuplikethis? Do you think Stevie didn’t come in wearing no make-up, looking like she had no eyes and immediately slathering herself in Rimmel (other make-up brands are available) before the ‘before’ picture as taken?
We‘re all in this together guys – unless you’re one of those people who never wear make-up, shop at high street stores or brush your hair. So let’s not jump down Britney’s throat, OK?
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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating