Paris Hilton Has Launched A Hair Care Range For Lidl And It's Proof Christmas Miracles Happen
The Debrief: 'That's hot!' No seriously, do you have a heat-proof mat hun?
Heiress hottie and noughties garment-slayer Paris fucking Hilton is back with a brand new business venture that even Alan Sugar couldn't turn up his tusthty nose at. Like last time.
Just as you were getting ready to write off 2016 as an abomination that was more off it's tits than your aunt after 5 shandies, Paris decides to partner up with Lidl and release her own haircare range. A true Christmas miracle a la Tiny Tim but this time your hair is also shiny.
The 35-year-old's range includes hairbrushes, hair dryers and curling tongs all of which are a pretty safe rose-gold shade. I bet five shiny gold coins in the office that the collection would be pastel pink, so my forfit is a Christmas Tree Hair on my head for the office for the rest of the day. At least no one has been in since Monday and the tubes are as empty as my heart. Or my bank-balance after my mum sent over her Amazon wishlist. Thanks a lot mum.
Before this glorious day, Lidl was best known for cheap prosecco, chorizo and checkout assistants pratically throwing your eggs off the conveyor belt before you even had a chance to open up your gaudy Bag For Life. Not for collaborating with a LA princess who once told Kim, 'Err did you clean my closet yet?' Maybe someone told Miss Hilton that Lidl was up and coming? The PR lady should get a standing obvation in the next Monday morning meeting. Not that we are complaing of course. We are literally thrilled.
Paris announced the news on her Twitter with a sassy AF gif, because. It's Paris duh. She told her 14.1million followers, 'I‘m excited to share my new collection from Lidl with you! Be the first to get it' OH PARIS WE WILL BE.
As Paris rather poignantly said, 'The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in.' See you in the Lidl queue then?
Like this? You probs will like this too (No you WILL like this, PROMISE).
Add Aimee as a friend on Facebook @aimeejakes (because I have no friends) (JK JK) (Half a joke)
At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating