Khloe Kardashian, It's Your Turn To Break The Internet
The Debrief: We're krazy for all of the Kardashians, but we think that it's time for Kim to share her starring role. Let's shine the spotlight on Khloe K.
How many Kardashian arses do we want to see on our magazine covers? Are we bored of butt? Have we reached peak cheek yet? Last year, I thought Kim’s Paper cover was the definitive eclipsed circle on the Kardashian/publicity Venn diagram.
Unless a member of the Kollective was to put on a knee-length sweatshirt and help the homeless, I thought they’d had all the buzz they could need or want. But now that I’ve seen Khloe’s super sexy Complex shoot, I really want the third sister to have a chance to break the internet.
Imagine you had starred in two smash hit, ratings busting, giant reality shows that had been syndicated all around the globe and regularly trended on social media. That you’d also presented The X Factor when you weren’t appearing in your own programme. And then imagine, on top of that, that you ran a brand and helped create a successful line of clothes, jewellery and lingerie.
Think about what life would be like if you had 28.7 million Instagram followers, your own fragrance, and a radio show.
You’d think, wouldn’t you, that you’d be a household name? That when someone mentioned your surname, your first name would instantly pop into everyone’s heads? That the spotlight would be yours to enjoy, and you could stretch out on your giant success sofa, legs over the arm rest, hands above your head – without having to constantly hutch up and make room for a bigger, bolder bottom than yours? Yet, we talk about Khloe Kardashian as though she’s lucky to have a cushion to call her own.
We’re all guilty of failing to consider Khloe outside of the context that she comes from. To be fair, being a celebrity sister helped to make her famous. But she’s caught in the middle of the sister set, sandwiched between Kim and the Jenner girls, and she’s often overlooked, even though she’s always striving to shine.
Every amateur psychologist is familiar with ‘middle child syndrome’. If you’re near the top of the family, you get to go first, embrace your bossiness and soak up maximum levels of parental attention. At the younger end, you can be spoiled and adored by parents and siblings who will see you as the ‘little one’ for long after you actually stop being cute.
(‘Our baby sister is graduating with a PhD in Astrophysics today! She’s adorable!’) When you’re in the middle, your pre-assigned role doesn’t cut you any breaks, so you have to build them for yourself. And when it comes to crafting your own public role, Khloe is a celebrity architect.
If you’re a fan of KUWT, you’ll know that Kim might be a fascinating source of gossip and drama, but Khloe is the real scene stealer. She gets all the best, sweariest lines. And when she doesn’t, she’ll dry hump an inflatable giraffe. I’m channelling Khloe when I have to give someone criticism that they won’t want to hear. Specifically, the moment when she told Kourtney that her ‘natural’ deodorant was making her stinkier than a sockless trainer.
The Kardashians’ life might look perfect through our phone screens, but Khloe is the sister who makes us want to be a member of the family, too. When everything starts to look a little too polished, Khloe is the one who’s keeping the Kardashians real, as she’s unafraid to say what she thinks and she doesn’t necessarily stick to the script.
Personally, part of the reason that I love Khloe so much is that she literally stands head and shoulders above her sisters. I’ve always been a bit taller and a lot heavier than my contemporaries, and I know I’m not the only one who sometimes feels like the biggest girl in the gang.
It’s inspiring to see Khloe enjoying fashion and style as much as her smaller sisters, and carving out her own fashion niche instead of copying what’s around her. It’s Khloe who is effectively reaching out to fans and making them feel like they can be part of the Kardashian world. And that reach isn’t just a heart-warming gesture – it’s what sells the merchandise, clothes collections, beauty products, calendars and phone games. Khloe’s ability to connect is as valuable to the empire as Kim’s ass.
So let’s hear it for all the middle sisters, the fierce, fit funny girls, the ones who sometimes say the wrong thing, but always make us laugh. Let’s judge our reality stars on the content of their characters and not the other people in their family photo album. Khloe Kardashian, may you break the internet.
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