Miranda Aldersley | Contributing Writer | Tuesday, 22 August 2017

In a Parallel Universe, This Would Be Kim Kardashian\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Job

In a Parallel Universe, This Would Be Kim Kardashian's Job

The Debrief: Someone's clearly been watching a lot of CSI Miami....

Lots of things would be true if Kim Kardashian wasn’t famous. Paris Hilton would still have a wardrobe assistant, for one. Conversation about beauty standards, nude selfies and bum implants would be lacking a certain common denominator. And the question of who has the world’s worst crying face would remain a mystery. But we’re still not sure if we believe Kim’s latest revelation – that, had she not become a pop-culture legend, she would have been a forensic investigator. 

Kim made the comments during a make-up tutorial video she made with beauty blogger Desi Perkins. At first, I was sceptical. Stylist – Yes. Publicist – Yes. CSI – ummmm…. not so sure. But then the endless vault of Kardashian trivia in my brain whirred into action and came up with a few moments when Kim K was actually like, super sleuth.


First of all, remember that episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians when Khloe has a feeling her boyfriend Rashad is cheating on her but no evidence to prove it, so Kim hacks into his voicemail and finds the offending messages. And this was back in 2009 - there was no app for that. 

Or the episode of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, when she was recruited by an actual Private Investigator to help find a 15 year old girl who ran away. Or the one where she hired someone to put a tracking device on Scott Disick’s car and hack into his phone records, all because he was ‘acting shady’. 

WATCH: 10 Times Kim Kardashian And North West Wore Matching Outfits

Oh yeah, and there’s the fact that Iran GENUINELY thought that Kim was working as a secret agent for Instagram to incite young Iranian women to ditch their religious values for western promiscuity. It could happen. 


Having gathered enough evidence I hereby conclude that Kim would actually NOT be the world’s worst forensic investigator… maybe. I mean aside from the whole inconspicuous thing - anybody with a perpetual 50-man paparazzi appendage might struggle to tail anyone else. Logistics – they ruin everything. Maybe in your next life Kim!

Like This? Then You Might Also Be Interested In: 

Paris Hilton's Nostaglic Throwback With Kim Kardashian Will Give You All The Feels

Turns Out Even Kim Kardashian Doesn't Know Why She's Famous

Kendall Jenner Makes Cameramen Cry On KUWTK Set 

Follow Miranda on twitter @mirandakate14 

Tags: Kim Kardashian