We Now Know How To Pull Ed Sheeran Thanks To His New Song, Shape Of You
The Debrief: New life skill unlocked
Today is an exciting day, people, because it marks Ed Sheeran’s return from his gap yah. Yes, after teasing us with that blue square on his Twitter account last month, Ed has treated us to not one BUT TWO new singles: Castle On The Hill and Shape Of You. While Castle On The Hill is a lovely ode to simpler times ('Take me back to when/We found weekend jobs, when we got paid/We’d buy cheap spirits and drink them straight'), it’s Shape Of You that’s really got us excited. Why? Because it’s basically a guide on how to date Ed Sheeran. Let’s break it down…
You’re not going to pull him in the club
'The club isn’t the best place to find a lover/So the bar is where I go,' sings Ed. Make ours a G&T, please.
Give him the chat and he’s yours
'Come over and start up a conversation with just me/And trust me I’ll give it a chance now.' 100% holding you to that, Ed.
Van Morrison is the way to his heart
At least that’s who we assume Ed means when he sings, 'Put Van The Man on the jukebox/And then we start to dance.' We’ve just got a vision of him zorbing in Bridget Jones’s Baby, so here’s hoping it goes a bit like that.
He’s probably not against sex on the first night
'And last night you were in my room/And now my bedsheets smell like you.' Ed Sheeran, you dawg, you.
He’s a cheap date and expects you to be, too
'You and me are thrifty/So go all you can eat/Fill up your bag and I fill up a plate.' We’re going to be stalking every buffet restaurant in town looking for Ed, now. And all these years we thought he was a Nando’s guy.
So there you have it. How to pull Ed Sheeran. Though, the last we heard he was dating his lovely school mate Cherry Seaborn, but maybe he’s got a friend who enjoys similar tactics? Either way, welcome back, Sheeran.
You can stream or download Castle On The Hill and Shape Of You here.
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