In Defence Of Beyoncé’s Fantastically Elaborate Instagram Announcements
The Debrief: Welcome to the world, Rumi and Sir Carter
Very few people can pop on a headdress made out of what looks like neon fishing net and casually pose barely clothed beneath a flower arch like it’s just another day. In fact, there are very few people who can pull of anything that Beyoncé does. And there’s a reason for that: she’s fucking Beyoncé. And that’s why her marvellously over the top, borderline unnecessary Instagram announcements are liked, shared and written so extensively about over and over again. We live for this stuff.
This time is no different. We all already knew that the long-awaited twin Carter babies arrived a little while ago when Beyoncé’s dad announced the birth on Twitter (in a very un-Beyoncé manner, might I add). But confirmation was yet to come from Queen Bey herself. That was until Beyonce slid into our Instagram feeds once more to bless us with another spectacular photo of her holding her two, one-month-old babies.
‘Sir Carter and Rumi 1 month today’, she wrote in the caption, followed by an emojified depiction of her new family of five. Now, I understand why some of you might roll your eyes at the whole thing. To quote our Fashion and Beauty Editor, Lucy, ‘It looks really budget’. But I’m just going to go ahead and disagree.
There is nothing that Beyoncé does that isn’t meticulously planned. So, I refuse to believe that there wasn’t a team of Snow White style woodland animals who carefully assembled roses and foliage to create the now signature ‘Beyoncé flower arch’. Okay, the gown Bey is wearing could legit have come from the fabric shop at the other end of town and the neon fishnet is well, neon fishnet. But you can’t say it doesn’t work. You can’t say that Beyoncé doesn't look fucking incredible. You cannot say that the whole bizarre concept of doing what seems to be a backyard photo shoot with your new-born babies to announce to the world that, yes, they exist, is overwhelmingly fascinating. The four million likes in four hours prove that.
I’m gonna level with you. If I was Beyoncé, I’d almost definitely prance around all day in nothing but a pair of bright blue French knickers and some netting on my head. Every time I experienced anything that I could quantify as a 'life event', from the birth of my children to nailing a box of 20 chicken nuggets, I’d have my team organise a photoshoot to mark the occasion, because why the hell not. We're never not fascinated by what Beyoncé is doing. And the sheer production of her life is genuniely something to behold. So I for one hope that these insane 'goddess at one with the flowers and babies' style photoshoots never stop. For the record, they probably won't. And, yes, if I ever find myself pregnant, you'll find me smeyesing for my life beneath a budget flower arch somewhere. It won't be nearly as exciting and won't get anywhere near as many Instagram likes, but I think I'm okay with that. I'll let Beyoncé have this one.
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