Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Behold The Glory That Is Elizabeth Hurley\\\\\\\'s Christmas Cards

Behold The Glory That Is Elizabeth Hurley's Christmas Cards

The Debrief: Or, happens when you try to recreate the cover of a Hed Kandi album against a Windows 95 desktop background

If you follow Elizabeth Hurley on Instagram you well know by now that her Christmas ‘cards’ are truly a sight to behold.

I do not follow Elizabeth Hurley on Instagram so, until today, I was blissfully unaware of the happenings in the life of the socialite-cum-actress-cum-giant-safety-pin-wearer of late.

When I did log onto the world wide web and find her Instagram though, I was struck by two things. Firstly HOW OLD IS HER SON? I remember when he looked like this and everyone was like, ‘Oh I see why you named him Damien there Liz’. Now, he looks all grown-up and ready to star in his first episode of Gossip Girl as Nate}s long-lost cousin from the Hamptons.

Secondly, I was reminded of the wonder that is Elizabeth Hurley’s Christmas cards. They’re not really Christmas cards, more badly Photoshopped pictures of Liz wearing no clothes and standing in front of creatures of the arctic. Over the weekend, she released her latest one and, in true Liz Hurley style, it did not disappoint. Let’s take a look back at some of her yueltide offerings over the years...


‘I’ll take my Christmas merriment with a side of Euro-pop, please Klaus! Start up the yacht, pop open the Dom Perignon and head north to the icy tundras of the Arctic. Those huskies are going to learn how to DISCO, yah?’


‘You fools think Mariah Carey is the only one who can run around the snow-covered forest in a material-poor attempt to dress up as Mrs Claus? Not so much. Have 20% off all my swimsuits, so you too can join me in the woodland frolicking. MWAH DARLINGS MWAH.’


‘I went GIANT THIS YEAR MES PETITS. Regardez moi as I tower over this pathetic mountain with my also-giant polar bear Bernard and his beautiful child bear Samson. Here, have a giant seal too. He’s called Fredrich.’


‘Kittens darlings, lovely, lovely kittens! I think perhaps they haven’t noticed that I’m wearing one of their brothers as a magnificent hat but just look how adorable the rest of these beautiful little snow monsters are. I shall raise them as my own.’

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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons


Tags: Christmas