Apart from being the main contender for the best headline I've ever written, this is also big news guys. Justin Bieber has reportedly moved on from ruining Selena Gomez's health and happiness (thank God) to Hailey Baldwin and, in the same time period as this news-meteor broke, we also learned that Bieber's dad threw his dog off a balcony. Really hope you were sitting down for that.
But one story at a time – first up, the Hailey rumours. The singer has been spending a lot of time with Hailey – a model, who is mates with Kendall and Kylie Jenner – and a source told HollywoodLife.com: 'Justin has a new muse and it’s Hailey. She’s different from the other girls Justin has been with. She’s really fun, feisty, and could care less about Justin’s fame and fortune [what? This is a double negative? -ed]. He’s definitely on the rebound from Selena.'
Sounds pretty legit, right? But then the insider continues: 'Justin usually gets what he wants and he’s trying to seal the deal with Hailey. But she’s being a bit cautious. Hailey doesn’t want to just be another girl on Justin’s list. Right now, she’s treating this relationship as a friendship.'
So they're just friends, then. Well, that didn't take a lot of investigating did it? Jelena fans can unclench, for a while at least, and every normal person in the world can just hope and pray that Bieber moves on and Selena finds a lovely, stable chap who can tuck her in at night and give her a hot chocolate. I mean, I'll do it if nobody's available.
Secondly, the dog situation. Justin's dog Karma was allegedly thrown from his balcony by his own dad, Jeremy, after it bit his (Jeremy's) son, Jaxon. Got all the names in order? 'Jeremy grabbed the dog and hurled him off the balcony into a snow bank,' Trevor, Justin's trainer says. 'Jeremy then told him to take the dog and not to bring it back until it was socialised.'
Trevor the trainer, apart from being a character in a children's book about shoes, told TMZ that, while Justin had got the dog in February, he'd never actually picked him up. Which obviously makes for a wild and non-snuggly pet that Bieber has reportedly abandoned – the third time he's abandoned a pet. Basically, he should stop buying animals. As for Jeremy, he went mad when he heard about the claim, and said Trevor (the trainer) had stolen Karma and got the cops involved, whereas Trevor is saying he was concerned for the dog's welfare consider it was thrown off a balcony, so has taken him away. Which is fair enough, we say. Take that dog as far away from that man as humanly possible.
Watch this space for more updates as this bonkers story unfurls – or follow the hashtag #Karmagotthrownoutawindowwhathappenednext.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.