C'mon kids don't be shy! It's time to take a look back through your chequered dating history. Here's some of the lads you've let go along the way.
The Kryptonite
It’s been seven years and three boyfriends later and still this lad pops up in your dreams every now and again – usually in a scene where you’re chasing him and can’t quite catch up. God forbid you ever bump into him in public or get ready for sweaty palms, shaky hands and, a few drinks later, tears before, and after, bedtime.
The Gumby
Probably came somewhere soon after The Kryptonite. This super sweet guy had your best interests at heart but had about as much edge as a Disney princess. If you weren’t cringing at his slight frame (accentuated by slightly too short trousers) it was his inability to disagree with you on anything. Once you started testing the limits of this ('I think murdering a truckload of bunnies is a good thing, oh you do too? WHAT A SURPRISE’) you knew it was time to give him the old heave ho.
The Project
Something about this chap’s brooding nature, inability to meet your eye and failure to commit to any plans only made you only more determined to mould his poor damaged soul into that of a fully functioning human. Several wasted months and countless tears shed later you realised he’s less tortured artiste and more weirdo who hasn’t got anything to say for himself.
The Peter Pan
Great fun to begin with but not so much when you finally stop for a second and realise that every other person you know has got some sort of foot on the career ladder while your guy is still focussing most of his energy on making the best post-hardcore concept album since 1988 along with his band Meatflaps. Cool he kept ‘borrowing’ money off you too.
The One That Got Away But Wouldn’t Go Away
Who’s got the gumption to ask ‘But why?’ after you tell someone you’re not in love with them any more? This guy, that’s who. From appearing ‘by coincidence’ in the pubs you go out to, to waiting on your doorstep after he’s had a few, this guy became the irritating stalker responsible for 90% of the incoming calls on your phone. Weirdly, you kind of missed him once he got a new girlfriend.
MTV EX On The Beach 2, starts Tuesday 27th Jan 10pm on MTV what will surface this series?
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Picture: Lukasz Wierzbowski
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.