I am a fashion editor. I own a Prada handbag (it took me a year to save up for it) some very fancy diamond rings (didn't pick up the tab for those) and I can write you a full catwalk show report in under ten minutes. But here's my secret: I'm obsessed with my onesie.
I was late to the onesie game, I only got mine in November, about two years behind the rest of the world. But it has changed my entire life. Now I'm not talking a silk, printed cotton or sports-luxe looking one-piece, I own a pale blue Care Bears onesie crafted out of fleece, that has a red heart shaped zip, a cloud on the tummy, and 'Grumpy Bear' embroidered on the hip. Oh and crucially, it has a hood - with ears.
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There was a seismic shift within my clothing regime A.O. (After onesie). I bought it on a Saturday morning, put it on an hour later, and wore it straight through until Sunday evening. Normally, my washing basket is piled high with umpteen outfit changes, but the onesie put an end to my Clark Kent-esque habits. It was just so damn comfortable that I simply had no reason to take it off.
Suddenly, I understood why Cara Delevingne and Justin Bieber think it's perfectly acceptable to step out in theirs so publicly
Suddenly, I understood why Cara Delevingne and Justin Bieber think it's perfectly acceptable to step out in theirs so publicly. So I thought I'd try it. Now I didn't quite have Cara's balls to wear it full frontal, especially down Tooting high street, so I put loose jogging bottoms and my black parka over the top and headed out shopping with my mum. So far so good - I was feeling quite smugly toasty against the horrible November weather. Then we went into a shop, and I began to swelter. It also wasn't an especially wise choice for when we sat down for coffee and I tried to unzip my coat, only to reveal my magic pastel tummy. The parka zip whizzed back up pretty quickly.
Ok, so wearing a onesie outside might not be so practical, but I refuse to relent on my promotion of the indoor use of fluffy clothes in the shape of bears. I'm starting to think that actually everyone needs two - so that you have a back up when one is in the wash. I've got to admit though, as hygiene standards go, they're not great. I told my editor about my new purchase and she immediately asked me 'have you peed on it yet?' As a newbie to onesie-ville, I had no idea that what she was asking was so normal - it's absolutely probable that at some point your onesie good will accidentally fall into the toilet as you pee. And that's just fine. As long as you take it off and wash it.
Is my onesie at odds with my job? A bit, maybe.
Is my onesie at odds with my job? A bit, maybe. My style generally leans towards being over-dressed, with a lot of adornment and frou frou. B.O. (Before onesie) I had a particular hatred of anything fleece as it reminded me of school geography trips, but now, I personally believe it is a vastly underrated man-made miracle. And plus, if I'm chucking on diamonds and heels most days, it's all the more satisfying to peel off the slick stuff and wrap myself in a refreshing layer of totally normal.
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And I'm not alone. ASOS have seen phenomenal sales of onesies over the last few months, (particularly their fleece styles with ears) probably because they remain an amazing Xmas gift. Who wouldn't want one for Xmas, given that it's a ready-made outfit that allows you to undertake all crucial festive activities such as lying horizontal, over eating, and playing board games, all while super comfortable and without any difficult decisions.
There's a limit to what is healthy where your onesie is concerned though. I realised I might have reached a tipping point when I emailed my fiancé to say I would be home for dinner and he replied with 'OK great. I'll have it ready for the time between you getting home and onesie o clock.' He had a point. He had only seen me without ears for maybe half an hour that week. Definitely time to get one without ears, I thought. Only he was one step ahead. My early Christmas present? A unicorn onesie. With ears, a snout, and get this - even a tail. Now there's something you don't see at Fashion Week.
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Follow Charlie on Twitter @Charliebyrne406
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.