You’ve agonized over the venue, stolen your housemate’s dress, because it looks better than yours, and gone for a pre-drink with a mate first. Yep, you’re about to go on a first date. But whilst you’re agonising over whether it’s going to go well (or how to get out of it if it doesn’t) there’s one person who knows exactly whether your first date is going to be a success – and that’s the bartender who’s busy watching you do that awkward first greeting.
‘Usually, if it’s a first date, one person arrives first. It’s normally the person who has booked the table (if you can make a booking), they’ll sit down and immediately check if there are any other tables that are better,’ replies our expert Bacardi bartender Emilie when we ask about clues someone’s on a first date.
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Emilie has been in the industry for 15 years and worked across the world – but she says the stereotypes of first dates haven’t changed that much. Even with the assent of Tinder. ‘You can tell when it’s an online date, as sometimes the two people arrive separately and end up sitting at separate spots before spotting each other,’ she says. ‘But you used to see that kind of behaviour on blind dates of old, too.’
If, like us, you always have that cringe moment when you’re not sure what drink to order on a first date, Emilie has some valid advice, too. Ordering a Vodka based Cosmopolitanwill make you look knowledgeable about booze (and by knowledgeable we don’t just mean familiar with your corner shop’s white wine stock level) and confident – try it at home first with this easy recipe.
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But whatever you order, do it confidently. ‘The most evident sign that you’re on a first date is when I come by to take your order,’ says Emilie. ‘There are usually two attitudes: either the man or lady will order for the other in a very confident manner or one of them will ask me what I recommend. Then, they’re usually completely oblivious to what’s happening around them.’
And what of that thorny issue of payment? Because, yes, we’re independent, savvy women with our own pay packet – but there’s still that awkward should you/shouldn’t you get out your card after the first round. ‘When the bill comes, I would say in 80% of the cases the man pays, but there’s always a sort of song and dance about it where the girl will look in her bag,’ Emilie reveals, perhaps putting you out of your misery. ‘Sometimes the lady pays and doesn’t give the man a chance, but this normally means the date hasn’t gone very well.’
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Talking of dates not going well, yes there are tell-tale signs bartenders watch out for. ‘I can always tell if it’ll end up successfully because the chemistry is really obvious, and normally they will both act extremely happy with their drinks and they’ll make comments like, “I loved mine but his/her one was delicious too!” Those types of comments normally mean there’s been a good vibe going on,’ Emilie says.
And, if that doesn’t already make you a bit paranoid, it’s also true that bartenders sometimes have sweepstakes on your date-night success. ‘We’ll have the occasional bet behind the bar on how many rounds they’re going to have and what time it will be before they go home together,’ Emilie laughs.
Equally, if you’re on the type of Tinder date where you’re seriously in need of a tap-your-feet-and-an-Uber-arrives-outside-as-if-by-magic (PS: this app is in development!), the bartenders can probably spot that, too. ‘I’ve had one scenario where a couple came to the bar to pay, and the man popped to the toilet so the woman paid the whole bill, and then I saw him run out of the bar. They had had five rounds, so it wasn’t cheap, either!’ Ouch. Still – we’ve all been there, right?
(And there are more great cocktail recipes at Mixed Cocktails, FYI.)
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Picture: Assa Ariyoshi
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.