How To Impress In A Club When You’re ‘Beat Deaf’ AKA You Can’t Dance

Apparently some people are genuinely 'beat deaf' so can't dance. Enter: YouTube. You can thank us later.

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by Stevie Martin |
Published on

Researchers have finally hit upon the reason some people can't dance, and it's basically the same as being tone deaf, except it's about your rhythm. While those clever people at the University of Montreal haven't yet figured out the percentage of people who suffer from this so-called 'beat deafness', we can all safely assume that you know at least one person who is a sufferer and, if you don't, then it's you.

A good test is a) trying to click along to a rhythm and/or b) watch how people react to you when you're dancing in a club. Are they hysterical with laughter? Are children crying? If you answered yes to any of these – then you might be beat deaf. But don't worry, there are ways you can still totally nail it in the club even if you can't follow the beat! That's what the internet is for!

We trawled the peppy world of dance tutorials to find the best ways you can kick ass while out partayying this weekend – obviously don't attempt to replicate the entire routine, but build your confidence up in private and then whip out some choice moves you've learned at the appropriate points. Even if they're not in time, you'll still look totally cool. Oh, and don't panic at the speed in which the dancers expect you to get the hang of the moves – YouTube was made for pausing and replaying, so just keep going until you can show your housemate and they don't ask you if you require medical attention.

**Meghan Trainor – All About That Bass **

Why This Is Good: It's SO simple, and basically just involves touching different parts of your body. You can use this for pretty much any song and, the quicker you do it, the more impressive it looks. Plus, it's not as stylised and OTT as, say, Queen Bey, so you won't look like you've spent ages teaching yourself.

Best Bit: 1.40 in where they incorporate a cheeky finger-wave which is perfect for helping you keep time. You'll have to replay it a few times to grasp this one, though.

READ MORE: View From The Bar - Can You Tell If That First Date You're Watching Is Going To Work Out?

Taylor Swift – Shake It Off

Why This Is Good: Because it's everywhere and you might as well learn it. Also, this is the most non-threatening dance tutorial ever – there are loads of individual moves you can totally steal and make your own. We love the fact that she's in a living room. JUST LIKE YOU. At the end of the vid, there's a link to the video where she goes into more detail on how to do the separate moves so check that out.

Best Bit: 0.58 kicks off a really classic strutty move that won't look out of place during any song, so spend a few minutes trying to figure out how to do it and you'll be set.

**Ariana Grande – Problem **

Why This Is Good: OK, so don't get freaked out by the 'right, left, right, left, left left, right' or whatever because if you get the hang of this you can whack it out at literally any point of any song. Also it's fairly simple, laid-back moves so provided you prepare to practise a bit it should be a bit of a confidence booster.

Best Bit: 0.30 in is the only bit you should really concentrate on here, because it's a good non-committal dance move for when you're aware some guy is watching you and you don't want to start jumping up and down and indiscriminately waving your arms about like a moron (my stock move).

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READ MORE: Wanna Start Your Own Club Night? Here's How!

Dance Moves (For People Who Can't Dance)

Why this is good: Don't be put off by the comic sans and the fact that these girls are really young - towards the end there are some genuinely good moves you can pull out if you're on the floor and under pressure. Learn them, and practise while listening to a song that isn't a bit crap (the backing track is a bit crap)

Best bit: Aside from the suitcases on their beds (where are they going???), the sprinkler at 2.00 is a killer move. It's served me well in the past, but then again, I've been known to Morris Dance at warehouse raves. For hours.

**If all else fails, just watch Single Ladies enough times and maybe it'll go in via osmosis? **

Like this? You might also be interested in...

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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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