Yep it’s that time of year when you keep leaving your umbrella on the train and turning up to work looking like a ghost that died in a lake and is now stuck in limbo, trying to connect with the living in order to ‘be at peace’. Otherwise known as Drowned Rat Syndrome, this is a lot more preventable than you’d think, and it’s totally worth being five minutes late if you can stride in looking like a woman who’s going places, rather than a woman who’s just been on a pre-9am waterslide.
From rain-induced panda eyes to how to deal with wet hair when the hand dryer’s broken, here are three hacks you need in your life unless you live in the Caribbean. In which case, I hate you.
The Hand Dryer Volumising Tyra Banks Hair Transformation
The result: From flat, shit, wet hair to bouncy follicles of glory – volumised, dry(ish) and totally acceptable hair that doesn’t look overly styled. Mainly because it’s not. Oh, if you’ve got mega-curly hair that frizzes up in the rain, then incorporate some Frizz Ease just before you stick your head under (or in, if it’s a Dyson) the dryer. Alternatively, opt for the non-hand-dryer option below.
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How to do it: Brush your gross hair, preferable with a wide-toothed comb – like we’ve all read about a million times in beauty mags. But let’s be honest, nobody carries one of these around so any comb or brush that isn’t a live hedgehog will do. Tip your head upside down and brush a bit more, then stick your head under the dryer for ages. Feel free to turn around and limbo-it so you get the front bits dry, but mainly go for the upside-down approach for added volume. When reasonably dry, throw your head back a la Tyra Banks and twizzle the ends around your fingers so you don’t look like Bonnie Tyler. Lots of slightly dated references here.
The Non Hand Drying Hair Style That Will Save Your Life
The result: A cute Heidi-style up-do that people will invariably comment on. In a good way. Bear in mind that, yeah, this only really works with longish hair because if you’ve got a bob then a few minutes under the hair dryer will result in a cool, mussed-up sexy hairdo that NEVER WORKS with long hair. Mussed long hair just looks gross. Anyway, stop victimising me because I haven’t been arsed to go to the hairdressers in two years.
How to do it: Brush/comb your hair into a centre parting and plait both sides, securing with bobbles. Flip the plaits over your head and clip them in place. Ideally, use kirby grips, but I found these mad floral clips in the *Debrief *office so used them, which made the whole thing a lot more dramatic/Heidi-esque. You can check out the back with a compact in the bathroom mirror but, tbh, nobody’s bothered about what you look like from behind. If you’re struggling to get a straight parting, then use a ballpoint pen with the lid on (or one of the kirby grips) to get it perfect.
The Panda Eye Rain Fixer
The result: Eyes that look normal.
How to do it: Vaseline (or any other clear lip balm) is your friend. Use your fingers or a cotton bud to pop on some ’line and get rid of the panda lines, then apply your normal eyeliner over the top. Any smudgy excess will add a smoky look and you can always turn to the trusty cotton bud once more to blend the line and tidy it up further. Boom. So, so easy.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.