On-Screen Witches From Your Nostalgic Past Rated From The Very Worst To The Very, Very Best

Screw going out this Halloween, we've got the VHS versions of these lot to catch up with

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by Jess Commons |
Updated on

Fancy giving your Halloween Party this year the old heave-ho and staying in to drink pumpkin juice and boil up a concoction of eye of newt and toe of frog? Course you do.

Instead of getting all dressed up battered out of your mind only to end up walking the streets dressed like a bedraggled dead cheerleader, use this Halloween weekend as an excuse to turn back the clocks and revisit your favourite witches from telly and film in years gone by.

Helpfully, because we’re nice like that, we’ve rated them for you from the absolute worst to the very best. Click through to have a look.

Gallery

Witches from Movies

5. The Grand High Witch from The Witches1 of 10

5. The Grand High Witch from The Witches

Undoubtedly the sole source of your worst childhood nightmares, Angelica Houston in Roald Dahl's The Witches was creepy enough WITH her wig and mask, but once she get her warts out and started turning innocent children into mice... dear me. Sleepless for weeks.

The Witches Of Eastwick2 of 10

6. The Witches Of Eastwick

Made up of Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer and Susan Sarandon (how's that for a line-up?) these ladies brought a whole new sass-factor to the concept of single moms. Jack Nicholson never stood a chance.

4. The girls from The Craft3 of 10

4. The girls from The Craft

Only like the inspiration behind this year's favouritest Halloween costumes (blame it on the 90's throwback). These teenage girls didn't always use their powers for good and definitely fell into the category of 'don't get on the wrong side of'. Ex boyfriends beware.

3. Mildred Hubble from The Worst Witch4 of 10

3. Mildred Hubble from The Worst Witch

Of COURSE you read the books by Jillian Murphy - remember the snotty Ethel Hallow and the kindhearted Miss Cackle? But did you see the 1987 movie with Tim Curry? If not you really should. It's on YouTube, but if you want but a little taster check out this music video with the best special effects ever from the girls' favourite pop star/Grand High Wizard.

1. Sabrina The Teenage Witch5 of 10

1. Sabrina The Teenage Witch

With homework, boy troubles and zany aunts, Sabrina was the teenage witch that like, totally got how hard your teenage life was. Plus, that wardrobe? Yes lady. Magic us up a piece of that.

8. Glinda The Good Witch6 of 10

8. Glinda The Good Witch

We originally wrote Glinda off when we first watched The Wizard Of Oz, she seemed a bit too prim and proper for us. Lucky then, erstwhile porn star and Teen Mom Farrah Abraham stepped in and shat all over that reputation by dressing up as Glinda to promote her new shaggable rubber vagina. Children cried.

7. Ursula from The Little Mermaid7 of 10

7. Ursula from The Little Mermaid

  1. A right wrong 'un. Ursula was a mean old sea witch with magnificent breasts and a fantastic Miranda Priestly 'do. She also ate those little urchin things that used to be mermaids like crisps, proving beyond any reasonable doubt that she was a massive Machiavellian twat. Although Ariel probably could have done with being taking down a peg or two if we're being completely honest.
2. Minerva McGonagall8 of 10

2. Minerva McGonagall

Harry Potter's Gryffindor house mistress introduced herself to her new class at Hogwarts by transforming herself from cat to lady. Talk about making an entrance. Plus, when the school was attacked by a group of douchelords hell bent on taking over the wizarding world she stepped in and fought back. Would any of your teachers have done that?

9. The Charmed ladies9 of 10

9. The Charmed ladies

These three sisters brought more chaos to their nice suburban town than any of the neighbours ever asked for. Between fighting off demons and ghouls to managing their totally crazy love lives with a never ending procession of attractive guys in v-neck sweaters, these ladies were just INUNDATED with problems. How they did it, we just don't know.

10. The gang from Hocus Pocus10 of 10

10. The gang from Hocus Pocus

Normally it's the overly perky American teenagers in 80's movies that annoy the hell out of us but in this case it was Bette Middler and her merry band of cackling witches that really ground our gears. Like the Loose Women lot on speed, the very worst offender was SJP for her ditsy blonde demeanour.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Your Bechdel-Passing Halloween Horror Film Hitlist

Books To Scare The Living Shit Out Of You

Endless SluttyDownton AbbeyRequests. And Other Realities Of Working In A Vintage Store At Halloween

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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