Another scientific study that we wished we didn't know about: apparently we spend (on average) a whopping 315 days of our lives hun-gover. According to Go Sober For October, one in 14 will experience more than 3,000 hangovers in their lifetime. Which is enough to make you renounce alcohol until Friday when you forget about that aforementioned statistic and a glass of cheap house white seems like it's way more hydrating than water.
Don't worry, though, we've collected some mad (if terrible) decisions made by Debrief readers while hung-over to cheer you up after that sobering news. To kick things off, I once bought an owl experience on Groupon that cost £45 because I wanted to be 'close to nature'. I also booked it for the wrong day so I couldn't go.
Here are a smattering more dreadful hangover decisions to identify with (or be smugly satisfied you never sunk that low) while squinting through that thumping headache:
**The 'Let's Go Online Shopping' Decision **
'My friend Martyn decided he was going to go on holiday and tried to order a pair of size nine flip-flops on Amazon. Instead, he ordered nine pairs of flipflops. All children's size.'
The 'Let's Get Drunk Again' Decision
'I was trying to be all YOLO and like those guys that are all, 'Fuck it, let's just get drunk again'. I can imagine beer would be OK, but you never realise how thick and syrupy Sambuca is when you're sober. Yes, I drank Sambuca at 8am.'
READ MORE: According To These Questions, We Might All Be Alcoholics
The 'Let's Get Overambitious' Decision
'I decided to start Pilates the next day. Then nearly threw up in a Costa afterwards.'
The 'Let's Bend Time' Decision
'After my birthday party this year, I arranged six online dates all for exact same time, one after the other. So weird. I knew what I was doing – did I think I could be like Hermione in Prisoner Of Azkaban? I cancelled them all four hours later when I'd had a roast.'
The 'Let's Draw Blood' Decision
I woke up and was picking my spots in the mirror, as I'm wont to do on a hangover (even with gross hangover nails), and then I thought why not re-pierce my ear so I put a needle through it. It didn't go through the hole, it dug about and bled everywhere and I felt woozy and had to sit down.'
The 'Will Go To Any Lengths To Retrieve An Item You Lost The Night Before' Decision
'When I lived in France, I'd lost my wallet on the way up to a rave in a cave the night before, so got up at 6am and climbed an 8ft wall to find it. I fell off the wall a bit. It was a danger-hangover.'
**The 'Let's Get Away From Here' Decision **
'I booked a holiday to Paris midweek before immediately realising I'd used up all my holiday at work, so I wasn't able to go. I was so depressed about this that I ended up pulling three sickies in a row.'
The 'Let's Do MDMA, I Can't See Any Problems With That Decision' Decision
'I felt so, so awful that I was willing to do anything to stop the pain. I woke up in a house with all these Dutch guys and they told me MDMA would sort me out, and it'd wear off by the evening when I had to have a sober meal with my boyfriend. I took the MDMA and tripped so many balls that when my boyfriend arrived with dinner, having driven six hours to get here, he took one look at me and drove all the way back again.'
The 'Let's Do A Ross and Rachel' Decision
'Once, when my boyfriend and I had terrible hangovers, we woke up on the sofa of a friend's house in Edinburgh. I yawned, stretched and overheard Jamie telling his mum on the phone we were getting married! We had only talked about this the night before while shit-faced.... And so it was. We got married.'
The 'Food' Decision
'I once ordered a Dominos and covered it with baked beans and chopped up pork pies. I was then sick.'
**Like this? You might find this interesting... **
The Films To Watch When You're Hung-Over No Matter What Streaming Service You've Got
Ask An Adult: Does The Truth Really Come Out When We're Drunk?
It Shouldn't Make Sense, But Is NOT Boozing Holding You Back At Work?
Follow Stevie on Twitter @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.