Remember that hot, slightly stern, twenty-something male teacher you fell in love with when hormones reared their ugly head and scented gel pens were a thing? He was being stern for a reason. And that reason was that you were being really obvious and he didn’t want to lose his job. Andrew (name changed to protect anonymity and future job prospects) is a 28-year-old teacher who worked in an all girls school for over a year, and this is what it’s really like being on the other end of your ogling.
First impressions are important
On my first day, the headmistress introduced all the new staff. You’re sitting there on raked seating in the front couple of rows with the girls are looking down at the back of your head, until she introduces you and you turn around to wave. When I stood up and turned around, there was this drum of noise and everyone started chatting suddenly. I was totally, totally mortified.
You’ll over-assert yourself because you’re mortified
After that first day, I was immediately on my guard; I wanted the girls to be a bit scared and know I wasn’t the sort of teacher who’d stand for being wolf-whistled at. God, that’d be awful. Not just in terms of pupils, but teachers, too – other members of staff picked up on it and would say things like, ‘Oh you’re a popular teacher,’ so I needed to demonstrate total professionalism and make sure the girls knew they couldn’t get away with that shit. I went in a bit too firm, probably went too far the other way, but I felt it was necessary.
Girls will fancy you, and make it known
While I’ve never had any really dodgy moments, I was a bit paranoid about the giggles and whispering, and always checked myself to make sure the behaviour hadn’t gone too far. I’d always ask myself whether I should have stepped in by now, and said something. There was a group who would stay behind after school when I was marking papers or whatever, and they’d knock on the door and chat to me for as long as they could, and I’d hear them giggling in the corridors. I had to tell them to leave a few times. You’re always very aware of what’s going on, and how it could be perceived.
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**You really, REALLY don’t want to ‘have a word’ **
Saying something is the one thing you want to avoid, even though it’s necessary sometimes and you know you’ll have to do it. Nobody wants to pull a student up on what you perceive as them fancying you, because what are you supposed to say? ‘Er, can you stop fancying me please’?! It’s embarrassing and thankfully I’ve not had to do that yet, apart from with one girl who incorporated me into a drama exercise. Annoyingly, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I had to have a word with her afterwards, and tell her it was inappropriate.
Girls will joke-fancy you
My last day was interesting, I got three or four letters and some of them were definitely jokes. Saying things like, ‘I’ve always loved you, I sniff the air after you’ve walked down the corridor,’ and, ‘Let’s run away to France.’ I mean, I’m not God’s gift to girls at all, but I was one of the only teachers in my twenties who they would probably look at, which meant there was a faction who fancied me and another faction who despised the girls that fancied me, because it was so obvious.
**You’d never say any of your pupils were fit, but… **
Of course some of them are! Me and my friend who worked at the school were very careful – even in the pub miles away it feels wrong to mention it – but you might just say, ‘That Laura… Christ,’ over a pint and receive a quiet nod in response. A nod that says no, obviously, just no, NO, but they have potential to be hot in the future if they’re not already.
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You punish girls differently to boys
Every person I’ve ever upset in the classroom happens to be a girl. You have to give them feedback more sensitively and sometimes be like, ‘Hey, this doesn’t mean you’re a bad person,’ because they can get really upset about it. You get more of a spectrum of insecurity with girls, so you tend to treat them slightly differently. For example, there was one who was terrified of me. She’d actually shudder when I walked passed, and if I spoke to her, she’d recoil. We talked about it, and she said, ‘I’m just terrified of you,’ and we got on quite well after that. But it’s never happened with boys. You can be way more sarcastic and rib them, and they tend to joke along.
There are plus points to working in an all girls school
While I don’t prefer to work with just girls, the presentation of the work is so much better. Boys scribble all over the page and girls do their homework properly, which makes it so much easier to mark. That’s the best thing…
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.