Hoards of viewers (literally seven) have written to the BBC’s Points Of View to complain about 'constant smutty remarks' from the show’s presenters, Mel ‘Geddinthere’ Giedroyc and Sue ‘Perky’ Perkins. The complainers feel the nudge-nudge-wink-wink comments, or as I prefer to term them, ‘Suephemisms’, are 'spoiling an otherwise delightful programme.'
Of course, what the dry-bottomed fans are failing to recognise is that the Bake Off’s innuendo is only as mucky as the inside of your mind. I mean, if you can’t hear the words, 'pop Mary’s cherry… in the oven' or 'stop touching your dough balls' without immediately thinking of an entirely different sort of sausage roll… well, perhaps you have other problems beside a few under-filled doughnuts.
Personally, I’ve never even noticed.
READ MORE: Rolling, Glazing, Jammin' And Oh Nuts: The Great British Bake Off Episode Eight
One viewer worried that 79-year-old Mary Berry often 'looked quite embarrassed' by the show turning into Carry On Carbohydrates – to which I say, the lady DID look very happy about those six-inch cream eclairs. Meanwhile, Paul Hollywood has been something of a self-saucing pudding this series, happily rising to the occasion with a few big ones of his own. Is it time to talk about how much he likes fingering? THE BREAD, YOU DIRTBAGS.
Paul Finger(ing) Food
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But as the nation waits with bated breath for what’s sure to be a stiff semi-final, we can’t imagine the Bake Off filth fest will be deterred by the few bashful fans who prefer their muffins un-buttered.
After all, you know what they say: if you can’t stand the heat… take off all your clothes.
No, wait. That’s not it.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.