Underwear For You, Not Him

We never thought we could fall so hard for checked underwear with clementine trimming. But by god, we did. This Contrast Triangle Bra £19 and Contrast Knickers £12, from Cos is alt underwear, at its finest. Why no-one told us how much more we'd love mathematical underwear than sexi underwear, we'll never know.

There's nothing less appealing than a minuscule pair of bikini briefs slicing into your hip flesh. This Boudoir Satin And Mesh Soft Bra and High-Waisted Brief Set, £30 from ASOS operates like a retro girdle. It's both a gut-sucker and classically, rather than 'horndog sexy. Just the way we like it.

Men will never understand a woman's affinity for the sports bra. But this Racer-Back Stretch-Bamboo Bra, £35 from Base Range at Net-a-Porter is ridiculously soft – with some sassy cut-out detailing – whilst the Calvin Klein mesh briefs, £18 (available at CK stores) are a super comfortable cut, with added frisson via the mesh trim.

Not the girl band, no - but this Neon Bralet and Knicker Set, £30, from Cheek Frills at Avenue 32 set is just as hot. Made from the softest cotton we think we've ever stroked, this peppy turquoise set with soft cups and neon pink lace trimming is the girliest underwear we could possibly find.

Nothing takes us back to being 13 more than logo-branded CK underwear. Joyfully, with the resurgence of nineties logos, the old classics are back. Leave the butterfly clips in the noughties, but embrace this racer back bra £28 and carousel sports briefs £18 (both available from Calvin Klein stores.)

We recently discovered an awesome new lingerie designer, Gudrun Vickery and we couldn't be happier. We've fallen hard for this soft cotton Ruskin set, £45, with bright splashy tie dye. The message is loud and clear: you'd rather be paintballing that sitting in a cheesy restaurant, OK?

Nothing is prettier than pink underwear. Feel like a Disney Princess in these Pearly Pink Stretch Knickers£25, by Stella McCartney at Net-a-Porter and this blush pinkSmooth Tactel Soft-Cup Bralet, £42 from Bodas at Net-a-Porter.

Underwear that makes you feel positively virginal beats the pants that make you feel like a slut any day, let's be honest. And this beautiful pale lilac Triangle Bra and Brazilian Knicker set, £30 from Topshop, is as innocent as the day we were born.

There's nothing nicer than satin underwear that looks like toothpaste, is there? This aquamarine Soft Satin Bra and Mini Knickers set, £28 from Topshop, will keep you minty fresh. And even if you're throwing the two-fingered salute at Valentines day and just opting for the cinema with a family bucket of sweet 'n salty, it's nice to feel fresh, isn't it?

We miss polkadot pants, pants with hearts, pants with bows…. pants with any diddy little pattern, basically. This cute little box of Heart Knickers, £40, from Cheek Frills at Austique let's you indulge your adorbs side, without giving a toss what a lace-seeking missile (aka a date) thinks.