Shock horror study of the week; apparently Millennials (that's a fancy word for you and me) disagree with their employers on what the correct 'path to success' is. If that's the only thing the chumps who took part in the study are disagreeing with their bosses on, then there's no way they're doing their jobs right. Here's some sentiments we have about work that, weirdly enough, our boss didn't really 'get'*.
*Luckily after we ran this by her, we no longer have a boss, because we no longer have a job. #freedom
On Timings
The work day begins at 9:36 after you’ve allowed for a slow bus, optimum porridge microwaving time and an intensely prolonged period of trying to work out whether your co-worker took a shower this morning.
On Expenses
That £9 cocktail after work? It was absolutely business entertaining. Henry from Sales was there. Even if you only invited him ’cos he looked sad.
On Social Media
Going on social media during work hours is a valuable tool that provides insight into key demographics. Your friends are absolutely the core demographic your company is aiming at. Even if you have to make new friends.
On Holidays
Days off are best left unmentioned until the last minute when you’ve already booked an unrefundable train ticket. Obviously, this stresses your boss out less in the run up to your absence.
On Lunch Breaks
Always an hour long. If there's a sandwich on the desk, we're not answering the phone. Hey, we don't make the rules.
On Meetings
Less a place to talk through ideas to further the future of the company, more a place to practise your artistic skills for your future career as a children’s book illustrator.
On Company Awards Ceremonies
An exercise in how to make up for that one early morning you did once in the form of all the food, booze and nibbles you can carry. If you don’t leave with four half drunk bottles of Chardonnay and several knives and forks, you’re not doing it right.
On Home Time
5:30pm on the dot. Mid-email, mid-meeting, mid-convo, whatever.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.